Big Girl Food!!!

We started cereal this week. well, I don't know that any cereal was ingested, but it made a lovely fashion accessory. Chloe seems to be getting the hang of it. Zoe cries when she sees the spoon... We'll work it out I'm sure. I'm not stressing about it, I know they are getting enough nutrition from the nursing. I just thought it might be good for them to start to understand the ways of the utensil. C tends to be more interested in food in general. If I'm eating, she follows where the food goes i.e. plate to mouth. Z doesn't seem to care. Here's some pics of our foray into foods:

Still on Vacation...

I totally appreciate the free feeding advice ;) I feel like they need to wait a little bit longer and be able to sit better. They can sit up in the high chair, sort of, but they do still have the tongue thrust thing. I just didn't want to starve them. I think I'll wait until they are up to 8oz on the night bottles since it's the only way I can really gauge how much they are eating. Chloe will just have to continue begging for table scraps.

I will have some super cute pictures to post when I get back home next week. We are going to a wedding tomorrow and the girlies have the cutest dresses to wear. Including hosiery and matching shoes. I know you all can't wait to see that!

Happy Halloweenie!!!

C as Thing 1 and Z as Thing 2.

We are enjoying our vacation to virginia beach. It's a little cold, but we took walk on the beach today with the babies in carriers. They seemed to enjoy themselves, well, C slept in the sling, but Z took in the waves and sand and then fell asleep.

They are up to almost 7 oz on their middle of the night bottle. and today while we were out to lunch, C was watching me eat hushpuppies and licking her lips... could they be ready to start rice cereal?

If anyone has advise or suggested reading materials to start the twins on food or if it seems waaay too early for food.... i'm all ears

food fights

I've been meaning to write something about this for a while, and I realized that I don't have the time or the mental energy to make it as coherent as it should be so i'll just give you what falls out of my head re: feeding starving little monsters.

I always intended to breast feed. When I found out I was having twins, it didn't even occur to me that it might be more difficult. I figured I have two babies, I have two boobs, seems even to me. And all the books and pamphlets they give you tell you it's the most natural healthy blah blah blah thing. I just figured it would be easy. A baby would cry, I would whip out a boob and all would be right with the world.

Then the girls showed up 6 weeks early with teeny tiny mouths and no suck reflex. They were on tube feedings for the first few days. The first time I tried to nurse in the NICU, Susan was there and I'm pretty sure I traumatized her. My boobs were enormous and the babies' mouths were miniature. They couldn't latch and they couldn't swallow. Not that it mattered, nothing came out anyway.

I rented the hospital grade pump and pumped religiously every 2 hours to make milk come in. I have a log book that I track all the feedings and diapers in and the first few weeks would make anyone cry. I was nursing each baby for however long they would stay on. Then we would supplement them with bottles of mostly breast milk (but sometimes with formula if I couldn't manage to pump enough) and then I would pump for another 15 minutes or so.

All I did was feed babies. Then they hit a few growth spurts. I was nursing them upwards of 10 times a day. each. and everytime I had to feed one, I had to find and clean a nipple shield since this was the only way they would latch on. They would also use the nipple shield (with me in it) as a chew toy.

I cried all the time. I felt totally useless and like I was doing something horribly wrong. I had consults with the lactation lady who tried to convince me that the girls had neurologic difficulties that were keeping them from effectively eating.

Around 6 weeks I decided that this was ridiculous and they were going to have to learn how to eat from boobs free from shields and without getting bottle supplements. Within a week they were nursing like babies. H gave them bottles in the middle of the night and I stopped waking up at that overnight feeding to pump. I would just wait until the morning.

They've gained 7lbs a piece since birth and they are down to 6 feedings a day with two long stretches at night. I still fight with them on a daily basis, especially C, to get them latched on and comfy to eat well and it still hurts when they decide they'd rather use me as a chew toy or pretend I am a giant bendy straw.

My point in posting all of this is not to say "poor me, my life is so bad" or to complain about how much more work it is with twins blah blah blah.. It's to point out that it's not easy. We're here at 4 months and we still don't look like the picture on a glossy brochure, but we are making it work, mostly through determination and stubborness (on all our parts). I wish I would have known that it would be this hard. I would still have worked just as hard to get it together, but I might have felt like less of a failure.

Now we just have the guilt of sending them to daycare twice a week to get over. I'm starting part-time work in November and I'm riddled with guilt over being the worst mother ever because they have to go to daycare twice a week for 6 or 7 hours. please someone slap me. I know how stupid I sound. But really, how could you leave these two?

Petey is jealous, so here's a shot of him too. On my new kitchen rug. which he has claimed for his own. even during bathtime. so helpful...

shots

well, the shots went well. the day of the doctor's appt, we drugged the girls up with baby tylenol an hour or so before and they took the shots like champs. Just like last time, they howled when the needles went in and went to sleep as soon as H and I picked them up. Then they slept the rest of the day.

so sounds good right? sure. that day was cake. The next two days were crab-tastic. Zoe may or may not have had a low grade fever on friday (the jury's still out on whether or not she was just sweaty) and both girls were figdety and cranky.

Today was H and my anniversary. 1 whole year. We went out to brunch at the place we had the wedding and marveled at the difference a year makes. Then we came home and hung out with the girlies for a while and managed to take a nap. All four of us. Managed to sleep at the same time. during the day. which never never ever ever happens. it rocked.

After getting the girls into bed H and I sat on the floor in the living room having wine and cheese and our slices of wedding cake, which were just as stale as last year. You see, our wedding cake never made it to the reception. There were many reasons given, but I'm pretty sure it just didn't get finished in time. Anyway, long story short, we wound up with "stunt cake". The cake we cut and fed each other was scapped up from a local bakery window a half hour or so before the reception. How long it was sitting in the window, no one knows. It pretty much tasted like cardboard.

After the wedding my brother was in charge of getting all the stuff back to our house since H and I went straight on our honeymoon. In his infinite wisdom, he took the entire three layers of stunt cake and put it straight into my deep freeze. Not in a box. Just cake on a shelf. Where it sat until about 2 weeks ago when H and I decided we needed the space in the deep freeze for food. So he cut two slices and put it in a container. We tried it again tonight. just for fun. it still sucked. but we had a fun time looking at the pictures from the wedding and laughing about how bad the cake was.

Next year we are thinking of going away overnight. wouldn't that be fabulous? perhaps we'll leave the munchkins with grandma. won't she be thrilled :)

Today is also the girls 4 month birthday. I meant to take a picture of them to post up, but the nap interceded and it was good. totally worth it. I'll take the pic tomorrow.

Now I have to go off and pump for the 2am feeding. then it's bed time for me. sorry for the extremely boring post, I lack creativity these days.

I really should be sleeping...

Due to overwhelming demands... here are some new pics:

here are the girls sporting their snazzy cloth diapers. You can see what chubbs they are now. We are headed to the doctor tomorrow for our 4 month shots (yikes) and I had them weighed by the county health nurse two weeks ago and they were both 10lbs 7oz! What fatties! Hard to remember them 6lbs smaller.... but here's a shot:

This is from when they first came home. Same positions too; Z on the left C on the right.

Amazing what three months can do. If I get a chance tomorrow I'll post up the stats from our doctors visit and let you all know the horrors of immunization.

just some pics

here are some pics of the girly girls:


In the top shot Z is on the left and in the bottom, it's C.

Here's a quick list of things they have been up to in the last few days/weeks:

smiling
laughing
blowing bubbles (more Z than C)
grabbing blankets, shirts, necklaces
and.....
sleeping!!!!

while they aren't exactly sleeping through the night, per se, they are going 4 or 5 hours in between feedings. So last night they ate at 12:45 and then again around 6am. This is "through the night" as far as I'm concerned. H gets up at 6 anyway to go to work and I usually get up then as well to get some stuff done around the house while they catch a few more hours of sleep.

All that night time sleeping makes for crappy daytime naps, but who cares?! as long as I can sleep a few hours at night, I'll play the "hold-me-rock-me-stick-my-nimmie-back-in-while-I-slap-my-sister" game all day. well, at least until H comes home. then they're his problem :)

one pic to hold you over

here's zoe laughing:

grumble grumble

just used all of morning naptime writing up post in pics of our day yesterday. damn pics won't post. something about needing a photo hosting site. so i uploaded the pics to flickr. but i am not smart and babies are waking up and I don't really know how to link everything. grrrrrrrr

will eventually figure it out. now it's time to get on the hamster wheel of feed the baby burp the baby change the baby rinse repeat.

Naptime...

would be awesome...

anyone got a suggestion on how to make twins nap in their crib? should I even care about this? Or should I be greatful they even sleep? C is in a bouncy seat in the living room. Z is in the crib periodically squeeking. I am stuffing turkey sandwhich and checking email.

I am also working on a photo essay entitled: "This is Our Day" Unfortunately I don't know how to work the timer on the camera, so there's no shot of me trying to wrestle both of them on for tandem nursing... but you can use your imagination on that one.

also, when does the breastfeeding get to be fun and bonding and less like wrestling tiny strong midgets? and also, ouch.

still standing

sort of.

the girls are doing great... I am starting to feel like a person again. but just barely.

Mostly because we've gotten them to sleep 4 hours at a time at night. They are only waking up once for a 2am-ish feeding and then again around 6 when H gets up anyway, so life is not so bad. But it's hard to get used to going to bed at 10pm while your husband does the dishes and preps up the bottles.

I feel pretty guilty, but I gotta tell you, by 9pm I'm shot. These girls keep me going most of the day and we live in a small ass house that gets out of control very quickly. I know everyone says let your house work go and trust me I haven't touched a vaccum in months, but just straightening up after two babies (who don't even move on their own) is exhausting.

I also have some myths I'd like to de-bunk here, but I feel like they are posts that are still brewing and no one likes a half baked rant, so I'll sit on it for longer.

On fun baby development front, both C and Z are starting to really respond to people and to objects now. They smile and stick their tongues out at you. And they are entranced by the mobile and shriek when it ends. this morning I read a bunch of board books to them (Sandra Boynton and Dr. Suess) and they were fascinated. This is probably due entirely to how ridiculously I read them, but what the hell, they thought it was absurdly funny.

Right now they are napping in bouncy seats while I pay bills and check email. The amount of gas they have has not decreased, but farting seems to cause less screaming so that's a bonus... I take what I can get here.

Here's a shot from a 2am feeding. Don't we look like we're having fun?

big shots for big girls

well, the shots went surprisingly well yesterday. Both girls screamed for the minute they got the shots and then promptly went to sleep on H's shoulder and stayed asleep until the tylenol wore off. at which point I nursed both and drugged them right back up with more tylenol.

Today brother Fi is here and they've been angelic. sleeping in between all feedings and going for a good 3 1/2 - 4 hours in between. Heaven. Now if they would only keep that up... I have a feeling it's short lived and due mostly to them being tired from the vaccinations.

It's 11pm and I am headed to bed. H and Brother Fi are watching tv and babies. I think I will shut the booby bar for the night and let them have their bottle feeds overnight. maybe I will get some sleep... highly doubtful.

tomorrow is my birthday party. I will be 30 on Monday. Oy. I will officially be in my 30's with two kids. double oy.

A Scream A Minute

we are the house of farts these days. and for the first time ever, I'm the least gassy. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't scream all day and night. oh and did i mention the hiccups? So much fun

I bought mylicon (which gets spit back at me 90% of the time) and gripe water, but neither seems to be doing all that much. I'm exhausted, and I think H may just stay on the train one night and see where it takes him.

Tomorrow we are headed to the pediatrician for our 2 month shots. That should make my day so much more fun. The doctor suggested tylenol before the appointment. He's under the impression it will make them sleep. Ha! fat chance! I'll let you know how it goes. I have much fear and trepidation.

argh

anyone have any bright ideas on how to deal with two babies who don't like to nap? I don't know where they get this from, I personally love to nap. I'll do it anywhere. not these two. Right now I have two seconds while C sleeps in the sling and Z makes eeking noises in the crib. I just stuffed 1/4 of a bbq chicken into my face, cold, using my hands as it's 4pm and all I've eaten today is a bowl of cereal.

help!

oh and if you really want a fun story, ask susan about tailgaiting at the police concert last night with me and felipe the breast pump. Nothing says "good times" like a woman pumping breast milk in a parking lot, except for maybe a woman pumping breast milk riding down the palisades parkway at 70 mph. Hot stuff I'm telling you.

feeding frenzy

no time to blog. must feed babies. babies eat every two hours. there are two of them. must feed babies. boobs may never speak to me again. when will babies stop eating every two hours? must feed babies.

so cute, so tired

sorry for the lack of posting, but you can blame it on the lack of sleep. H was home with me for the first month, but he went back to work this wednesday and my mom's been here to help me out. but i'm still exhausted. Mostly I wanted to thank everyone for all the emails phone calls and gifts. I will get around to answering everyone. maybe. by 2025.

let's see, quick updates while H is on baby patrol and I am supposed to have 5 free minutes to check my email and fend off the cat. (Petey hates typing)

• Babies are each over 6lbs


• Breast feeding going well (obviously based on weight gain) with shields... most of the time... we are still battling some latch issues which I hope will get better as they get bigger.


• They are eating every 3 hours or so. On roughly the same schedule with a few extra feedings here and there as they request. And by request, I mean shriek loudly.


• Petey is now a guard cat. whenever I put a baby down, he sits nearby and stares at her until I put the other one next to her or pick her up. When I am nursing them, he sits in the nearest window to keep out intruders. it's pretty funny.


• I've taken a shower almost everyday this week.


• My c-section incision has just about healed but I am still not quite up to my old freakish strength. We won't discuss my bathroom issues... it's not pretty. This is what happens when you get 90% of the way through a vaginal delivery and the babies change their minds. I wish the little darlings would have told me how wedged in there they really were. I could have been saved a lot of heartache... not to mention my ass

So that's about all I can think of to mention. I bought a baby sling (commence laughing crazy diana) to try and deal with C's intense need for being held. all. the. time. even while sleeping. I don't have the vaguest idea how to use it even though I've watched the instructional video twice and once with H. I put her in it, but i just think she looks all mashed up. The end of the video suggests going to a la leche league meeting for help. this may have to happen soon as i think I'm too sleep deprived to understand even video instructions.

anyway, here's a pic of unbearable cuteness from their one month birthday:

Try to handle all that cuteness. By the way, these little froggy sleepers have already been outgrown.

just a quick update

don't have a lot of time or brain cells these days, but here's what's note-worthy:

had weight check yesterday by visiting nurse -- chloe 5lb 4oz and zoe 5lb even. both girls are now 19 inches long and chloe's head circum is up 2cm and zoe's up 1cm. I credit these minor differences to the fact that chloe had just eaten and zoe's poor head was ginormous at birth due to huge bruise from suction (more on that later)

cloth diapering is actually going really well. we had some wicked diaper rash for a few days, which may or may not have been a result of my taking antibiotics for the world's worst UTI. I will not feel guilty if this is the case as drugs were necessary. At least I've quit the percoset (under duress :)

breast feeding is going... well, it's going. we are fully on breast milk. all feedings but two are directly nursing and the two overnight feedings are pumped breast milk supplemented with formula to boost the calories as per NICU recommendations. Apparently we should keep this up until 6mo. That's actually ok with me as I get a little break at night. H gets up and does the changing and bottle feeds and I just have to function long enough to turn the pump on. glamorous, I know

as far as the actual nursing goes, well, it ain't a comercial for the ease of breast feeding, I can tell you that. The babies have small mouths and well, we've all read about my monstrous mamaries, so there's some issues there. The lactation ladies in the hospital gave me nipple shields which seem to help as it gives them something manageable to latch onto. However, it gives them some wicked gas. At least I'm blaming the gas on the use of silicone shields and not on genetics. you be your own judge of that. I'd like to get them off the shields and we've been practicing without them a little. It's getting mixed reactions. Zoe is game and will give au natural a shot. Chloe just looks at me like, "really? you want me to put all of this in my mouth? have you gone mad, woman?!"

House is fully sided with new gutters and windows. they are coming back next week to install gutter guards and shutters. It looks like a new house. ok, not new, but like an old house that's less crappy :)

petey has stopped biting out his fur and is back on eating regular old meow mix at nights and staring at babies with curiosity and some moderate disdain. right now, I have the front windows open (for the first time ever!!!) and he is in heaven.

Petey is going to be pissed, though when I close the windows in a few as we are going to take the babies on a little walk around the block for some fresh air. Not sure if this is sanctioned, but the air outside has got to beat the old ass air in here. I mean, some of the air in here may be over a century old. spew.

so that's the news that's fit to print. no picures today as I'm too tired to seek out the cord for the camera and upload any. tough noogies for you. oh, and I'll take any suggestions on the breast feeding conundrum. how bad should I feel about the shields and how anxious should I be to get past them? I kind of feel like, if it's working for now... thoughts?

HOME AGAIN HOME AGAIN

we are all finally home. chloe joined us in our tiny house on wednesday just in time for fireworks, torrential rains, and seven thousand workmen installing siding and gutters.

We should be thankful to the NICU that these two sleep through anything.

now if i could just get some sleep...

Unbelieveable Cuteness

I promise to write up all the gory details of how Chloe and Zoe made their arrival about 3 weeks ahead of time, but I just haven't processed it all yet.

Both girls are doing really well. They are still up at the hospital hanging out in the NICU gaining some weight and charming the nurses. Hopefully they will come home this week!

In unrelated news, here's what H and I accomplished last week in between schlepping tothe NICU at all hours:

• new car
• new windows in the house
• new siding on the house (happening today)
• 1 million more loads of baby clothes in premie sizes
• 2 million pictures of the two cutest babies on planet earth

I made H go to work today since the girls have top quality baby sitters for the next few days and I can finally go to the bathroom on my own (I told you it was a gruesome delivery). He already used a week of leave watching me pee and driving me to the NICU at midnight because I can't sleep if I don't tuck them in. Oh, and the crying. sometimes rational, sometimes not. can't tell the difference.

But, like I said, it was worth it. I still can't believe they are mine.

It was worth it...

Zoe Mae and Chloe Jane

4 lb 12oz and 4 lb 8oz

June 21, 2007