Tuesday, June 19, 2007

swollen & self-loathing

sorry for the long absence. What can I say? I am a crappy blogger. And also, my internet connection was a little spotty. And I'm feeling sorry for myself. So it's a trifecta of discontent here at Chez Platypus.

Where should I start...I had my u/s last monday and the babies are pretty freakin' big. Baby B (on the right who likes to kick me in the liver) was a little over 4lb . Baby A (on the left who head butts me in the bladder) was harder to get a read on. She was coming up 3lb 9oz. Now, that's not such an accurate measurement as it was almost impossible to get a head circumference. Why is that? Well, perhaps it is because her head is jammed as close to my cervix as is possible. With baby B trying to head butt her out of the way. So if I had to make a guess, I'd say they are both around the 4lb mark.

That gives me 8lbs of baby ramming their little baby skulls into me in some weird race to be first. this does not bode well for my future...

It also doesn't bode well for me feet. sadly my feet are worse. "no", you say, "it cannot be?! They have already defied the logical limits of foot swelling". Well, they hadn't and now they are worse. If I didn't tell you they were feet and they weren't positioned at the ends of my tree stump like legs, you would be hard pressed to identify that anatomical part.

So U/S Monday night and by Tuesday morning I was begging to be seen in the office again to show my feet and plead my case for foot amputation. I had gained 14 lbs since my visit the week before. Let's see that figure again. 14lbs. That's a lot of water folks. But fear not, my OB had some wonderful advice:

Stay off them.

Like I'm here running on the treadmill and doing jumping jacks.

So now I have been confined mostly to bed. Which gets me to the self-loathing portion of today's post. WHY ME??? I'm not good at laying around doing nothing. And my bedroom is small and boring. I have a TV, but TV is boring I can't really watch more than an hour at a time when I'm not all cranky and swollen and being licked by the cat because he knows I don't feel well, but doesn't understand that licking my feet does not make them feel better. Even the internet is boring. I've read every magazine, took parenting and breast-feeding books out of the library and watched almost every movie I can stand.

I guess the good news is that my blood pressure and everything else is normal. I had an NST yesterday. That's a fun little test. I lay down in a recliner and they strap two heart rate monitors for the babies and a third to measure contractions. I am old hat at this. This is what we do on our trial runs to the hospital. But now there's an extra component. I have to push a button every time someone moves. Do you have any idea how many times I pushed the damn button in 45 minutes? I asked the nurse if I could perhaps push the button when I DON'T feel movement. She thinks I'm a loon. They will definitely never hire me to do their genetic counseling.

In an effort to gear up in case the little doll-babies decide to show up early, H spent the whole weekend working like a maniac to set stuff up. He is a saint, seriously. Here's what he accomplised in two days:
  • went to babies r us WITH MY MOM and finished off the necessities from the registry
  • went car shopping WITH MY MOM
  • mowed the lawn and weed whacked the forest growing along the fence in the driveway
  • did two loads of baby clothes and two loads of our laundry
  • put all of these clothes away
  • washed and hung two more loads of baby blankets and our quilt on the line because I didn't want them to go through the drier
  • organized baby gear and put it away in either our bedroom, the nursery or the basement, frequently involving 2 flights of stairs with large plastic toys, mattresses etc.
  • cooked all of our meals
  • ate them in bed with me so I wouldn't be lonely
  • did one million loads of dishes
  • went to the grocery store and ran other errands including renting me extra movies to supplement my netflix
  • and woke up with me every time I started crying that my feet hurt. he would get up, get me cold washcloths to put on them and then put lotion on my poor stretched skin to keep it from stinging and burning. seriously any man who would touch those feet is a prince. or mentally insane. jury's out on that one.

I think that by yesterday he was so happy it was Monday just to get away from me and my whining and list making. Last night he cajoled the financial planner in his office into coming up to the house (from manhattan where this guy lives and works) so that we could talk about life insurance for the two of us and get started on making up wills to have in place before the babies come.

H is awesome.

That's pretty much the news that's fit to print. If anyone wants to see me, they can pull a chair up in the bedroom and marvel at my girth. Otherwise, I'll be here. Gestating. and swelling. At least I have a/c. and my very own H.

Because, H is awesome.

oh, and today he's designing the thank you cards for the shower. so I can write them tomorrow and people will stop complaining about what an ungrateful wretch I am.

Yes, H is totally awesome


Eva said...

Hey, enough with the self-loathing. You need to remind yourself what an amazing person you are for, well, carrying around 2 other lives with you every day (though carrying may be a misnomer if you're not moving around all that much). You rock! Sarah was less than 4 pounds at birth so you're growing some great big babies there. Jordan was crammed against my cervix, we always had the same head circumference problem, though now actually we know he has a big giant head and some of the trouble getting a proper read was that his head is just so darn big.

Okay, two words for you. Top Chef. I watched a lot of it last summer. And if you like tennis, Wimbledon starts in less than a week. I lived on that for 2 weeks last summer. Except for the cursed rain delays.

How you feel now sucks. But self-loathing is not allowed. Self-pity, sure, self-loathing, no way.

A.P. said...

I think it would be more appropriate to say I'm rolling around with 2 other lives :)

I'm actually all about HGTV and their half hour re-design shows. that's about the limit of my attention span.

I think I just need some decent fiction. I'm usually such a good reader and I fear now's my last chance :)

Kerry Lynn said...

Yes, Eva is right, the end sucks! Has any medical professional showed any signs of concern for your swelling and weight gain of the last week?? I seriously hope they're checking your protein in your urine and blood pressure!! If not you need to demand it tomorrow!! If you have Pre-e, all of your lives are in danger...don't mean to scare you but the amount of swelling you're talking about is NOT normal no matter what they tell you.

Yes, you will swell more after delivery but it will go away and you will be back to your old self in no time.

You will think your new additions are the cutest things to ever walk (or lay on) the planet. you will thin they are WAYYYYY cuter than mine :-) even though *I* know that's not possible. HEHE

Hang in there. I know how miserable it is, you're doing a great job!!!!!

moz said...

Congratulations on the twins! Sounds like H has got what it takes to take care of you and babies.

Stacie said...

Stop with the self-loathing. You are growing two tiny people who, even though they don't feel tiny when they head butt your cervix. You are doing fabulously. MIserably, but fabulously. I swear, it gets better, though go read Swistle's on Postpartum (http://swistle.blogspot.com/2007/06/postpartum.html) to get a hint of what you are in for after they are born so at least it won't come as a surprise.

Back to saying...enough with the self-loathing. You rock. The end of pregnancy is dreadful.

I used to go in and ask about various things that made me miserable and the doctors and midwives would say "normal, all normal". We got so we (husband and I, not doctors and I) would joke, "I am a little concerned about the orange tree that seems to be growing out of my nose." 'Oh, normal, totally normal at this stage."

That said, I called in the night before I delivered because I was seeing floaters which can be a sign of increased blood pressure. I was told it was nothing, just swelling in my eyes (!!!) but the next day I was delivering via section because of an infection showing as fever, high blood pressure and elevated baby heart rates. So, be pushy about the swelling. It is probably nothing, but it may be something and you may have to be a witch about it to get them to listen to you.

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