Thursday, January 31, 2008


In response to Kerri, I am pretty sure that Z sounds just like baby stewie in her own head. Also, I believe that Petey plays a role in her mad schemes. And in response to Kat, my babies are made entirely of peanut butter. it's a cheap source of protein so I can afford to spend money on organic avocados and other baby food crap.

Someone over at the twin mommy club I belong to posed the "What do you do with your twins all day" Here's my response in case any of you are just consumed with needing to know what it is exactly that I do all day long... Today was actually a really good day. No one screamed in my face. For the whole day. WooHoo! Anyway, here's what we do:

5-6ish: Feed babies and hopefully get H to change them before he goes off to work. Fall back asleep while telling self to get up and do things like laundry.

8ish: Finally haul self out of bed to giggling babies who are slapping each other in the crib. Get them up and start getting breakfast together. I get them into high chairs, heat up frozen fruit cubes and shovel it into babies faces. Or around babies faces. Or near their faces. After they eat, we head back into the bedroom to get clean clothes (and diapers). Once they are cleaned up I nurse them both and they usually take a nap as it is now close to 11am.

11-12 glorious glorious nap time!!!

After naps I change them again and we journey out to the living room to either chill out in bouncy seats or play on the play mat with some toys. Usually they will nurse again around 12 or 1 and then again between 3 and 4. I try to put them down for a nap after that second afternoon feeding, but sometimes (usually) this doesn't go so well and they just crash out in their bouncy seats. Today, however, they both slept from 3 to 5.

Dinner happens around 5 or 5:30 and consists of a delish mash up of vegis, oatmeal and formula. I shovel this into C as fast as possible (she would prefer a funnel) and then spend 10-20 minutes negotiating with Z. Who moans and or cries the whole time. while still eating. she is an odd duck. Usually at least one baby poops.

Then it's bathtime. C is very into getting as much water out of the tub as possible. Z just enjoys being naked and kicking her feet around and lifting her butt up in the air. They get into their PJs with the heavy duty fleece diaper covers and I nurse them and plop them into the crib. Sometimes they go right to sleep. Sometimes we play "shake, rattle and roll" for a little while. We are still swaddling them with one arm out a piece since they've started sucking their thumbs and frankly it keeps them quiet at night. They usually konk out around 8pm, but the last two nights we've bumped that up to 7-7:30.

Then C is up sometime around 4am. Sometimes I feed them both. Sometimes I let Z sleep. It depends on how tired I am and if she's really soundly sleeping.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Just in case you all were interested. which I know you are, because, seriously, this shit is fascinating...

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Under Pressure

I'm trying to formulate a post about the pressure to be the perfect mother. I'm not quite sure what I want to say, but it's so unfortunate that I feel a lot of times like I'm not enjoying them as much as I should becuase I feel this pressure to be doing the "right" thing. For example...


I friggin' hate eduational toys. There are no educational toys for a 7 month old. they are babies. They want to chew on shit and see stuff that lights up and plays doofy melodies... they don't want to learn french or calculus. they want to chew shit. well, mostly C. Z wants to take over the world.

walkers/exersaucers: toy of satan or fun for twins who chew on everything? In order to eat dinner, or make baby food for the ravenous teething twins, I occaisionally have to stick them some where other than on me. The bouncy seats are no longer cutting it, but the girls still haven't mastered (or don't care to) the art of sitting. So for a few minutes a day they get plopped in a walker or exersaucer. C chews on whatever is in front of her. Z attempts to dismantle hers while moaning her evil plan to her henchmen. I lock the basement door and put a chair in front of it. I don't know why, their little feet barely reach the floor... but I took a header down basement steps at my 1st birthday party, and well, we've seen what that does ;) Anyway, does this make me "worst mother ever"? I hardly think so, but if I read one more dumbass book that equates these toys to burning your child with cigarettes, I may lose it.

Or how about teething rings? Why can't I freeze them? C wants to eat the fridge. Or the cat. If he were frozen. My mother found a teething ring in her fridge that was most likely Ed's if not mine. It's probably made of liquid lead. C loves it. no, that's an understatement. they are eloping next friday.

Television: See above re: walkers. Sometimes we are needing some Noggin' around here. Like this morning when I had to pump and babies did not want to chill on the play mat or read Don Quixote in the original Spanish. So we had a double no no: babies in walkers watching telelvision. Child protective services should have just walked on in and skipped the pleasantries. I mean, what an unfit mother I must be to allow my children to stare blissfully at big-eyed bugs on Miss Spider while I hook myself up to have a rendezvous with Felipe. So. They. Can. Eat.


Food is one of these areas where I feel like I need to make sure they are getting the right nutrients in the right balances and that more of it gets in then on them. Like if they eat bananas too many days in a row, they will be missing some key ingredient in oh, say, sweet potatoes that will make them Mouth breathers instead of Mensa members. this is absurd. There is no way that my mother could have possibly put this much thought into my food intake. The woman can't remember where she put her cell phone down after hanging it up. (this happened twice today). I'm reasonably intelligent. And look at H. he's pretty damn functional considering the bizarre inedible food product his mother likley served. (I reference the rosh hashana brisket/stewed cauliflower/corn on the cob debaucle of '03)

then there's the organic, free-range, hormone free hoopla. I know for a fact that my mother didn't buy organic vegetables when she made her baby food. Granted, there may have been fewer pesticides, but then again, it was the late 70's, so it was probably worse. People were less concerned or less aware of the crap on their food. I wholly buy into the organic fear mongering. I can't afford gas some weeks, but I am buying organic locally grown apples. At least I've down graded my own dairy from organic to "hormone free". Personally for myself I could give a shit about bovine growth hormone, but I went through puberty early and lord knows I don't need them with boobs at age 7. I have enough problems on my hands with identical twins, at least one of which may be an evil scientist.

The thing is that I feel like we are all driving ourselves crazy. You have to do what works for you and what's best for your life and your family. Do I think it would be better if I didn't have to rely on gadgets to keep my children from screaming so loud the dogs across the street bark? Yes. Is it likely to happen? Um, sure. If I cloned myself and hired a chef and housekeeper. I am doing the best I can with what I've got. I've got two well attached babies who are growing almost perceptively and need attention. We read books, we sing nursery rhymes, we eat two meals a day of organic fruits, vegis, oatmeal and yogurt. They have started taking naps in the crib in the morning and they go to bed every night by 8pm at the latest (we are working this up to 7 as I think they need more sleep and frankly I need less cranky babies at night). But that pressure is still there to measure up to some unatainable goal. I have gotten myself off the hook lately by thinking "maybe that would be possible if I only had one baby..." but I have a feeling there's only so much one woman can do.

Unless you are my mom. Who literally is a super hero. When I was a kid, she brought me roses after a show and signed the card "Super Mom" as a joke. Except it's true. Tonight she came by after work to watch them while I went to the doctor. Then she stayed to help feed them dinner. Then she gave them both baths and while I nursed them to sleep, she put away the bath stuff, did my dishes and cleaned my kitchen. Then she went to play bridge. But she called me from the car to say she couldn't remember who's house the bridge game was at. At least she could find her cell phone.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Why am I not sleeping?

I am tired. really tired. babies are waking up several times a night with hurting teeth. But I'm not asleep. why? because I am trying to have recapture some semblance of a normal life. Normal people don't go to bed at 10pm. But then normal people don't have teething twins.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Giving Thanks

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the girls’ birth. Mostly this has been coming up since I’m now working at the hospital where they were born. Mostly because of the hand soap.

When you go to the NICU, you get an education on hand washing. They are very strict about it. And the smell and feel of that soap is something I will never forget. Now that I am working here, every time I go to the bathroom, I have a NICU flashback.

I am incredibly grateful. That is the understatement of the year. There are no words to express how I feel about the fact that my two tiny little peanuts who didn’t even tip the scale at 5 lbs, now eat cereal and fruit like it’s going out of style and have learned to turn the mobile on and off in their crib.

They are scooting themselves around on their backs and almost rolling over and sitting up (sounds like puppies, right?) and in those first few days they couldn’t even eat. C sometimes forgot to breathe.

One night while they were still in the NICU, a night or two after I had been discharged, I woke up panicked and made H call to check on them. C had stopped breathing for a few minutes, but ‘don’t worry,’ they said. ‘She only needed a little mild stim and she came right back’. Which part was scarier, that she had stopped breathing or that if she had been home, I wouldn’t have known what to do? How did I know she needed me?

I chose my OB/GYN based on proximity to my house and where they delivered. Before I was even pregnant or planning it. I did my research; I knew the NICU reputation, before I knew I was having twins. I stopped working at 24 weeks and went on restricted activity not much after that. I stuffed myself to make sure they could gain enough weight (ok, that part was fun). I did everything right. They still came 6 weeks early. 3 weeks before I had anticipated them (being they were multiples and likely to be born early). They even switched their birth order. They had their own agenda.

I am not going to obsess about food intake or milestones or even poop anymore. I’m retiring the log books. I am just going to be happy and grateful that I have two beautiful, healthy, (if you don’t mind some snots now and then), happy and funny baby girls. Last night I literally got down on my knees to thank god that they are here and they are who they are.

And I’m buying scented hand lotion to keep in my desk drawer so I can stop tearing up every time I wash my damn hands.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

After Much Anticipation

Here are the Xmas out takes. It's only a month late :)

Look how nice and smiley we are... such good babies....

Bleahahaha.... says Z. C is not amused.

Are we still doing this?
Really? Still?

Smell my foooot! Z smells it, can you? Scratch and sniff...

And Finally:
Oh! Snap!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Picture Post

I know I haven't had anything profound to say in a while, or ever... so here are some pics from the past month to show what we've been up to. See if you can guess who's who...

We've been cute:

We've been playing with toys:

We've been hanging off of poor mommy:

This last shot is purely for Crazy D so she can laugh at my double marsupial-ity. Please disregard the chaos going on in my kitchen and the fact that both babies are pretending they aren't doing anything remotely insane, like screaming non-stop for hours on end.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

The Bad Mother Chronicles

I currently have two babies crying in their crib. There's nothing wrong with them other than they are tired and don't want to take a nap. But that's not why I'm a bad mother.

I'm a bad mother today because today is a non-work day, also known as a baby day. I should be spending my time playing with them and teaching them sanscrit or some shit. but I just can't handle the crying today.

C hasn't pooped a decent poop in two days. She can't sleep because she has a bellyache. I'm sure it's too much rice cereal for her. For breakfast this morning they had pears, apples and prunes. Then Z blew her ass off. Every diaper I've changed today has had some sort of poop in it.

So, no, I am not enjoying my baby day. I want to rest for a few minutes that don't involve poop. or crying. or teething. Did I mention C was teething.

p.s. it's 3:30 and I just poked my head in the bedroom. They are both asleep. I knew they needed a nap. Maybe I'm not the worst. mother. ever.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

My obsession with log books

ok, so I'm slow and haven't uploaded my outakes from the xmas photo shoot. While you're waiting, here's my issue with tracking poop. I know, I know, not an offered topic, but what I felt like chatting about today. meh, it's my blog ;)

I bought a log book from doubleblessings when I found out I was having twins so that I could keep track of their feedings, poopings etc.

Now it's 6 months later and we are starting forays into solid food. I'm still using the log books and writing in what food they are eating. It's very in-elegant (shut up it's 11pm and I'm really tired and making up my own words),but I don't feel like making my own and the one presented in the Super Baby Food book is just too much like weight watchers for me. Plus it's not set up for twins and I'm lazy and well, see above re: making my own. Oh, plus I'm cheap and don't want to print and bind my own sheets. But I still need to know who ate what when and what came out the other end.

Is this too anal? I was hoping that by 6 months I'd be less obsessed with tracking food and poop, but alas, I appear to be worse.

So I just ordered another two log books to get us through to June. Maybe by their birthday I'll be.... oh let's not even pretend. I'll be just as bad, but hopefully they'll be eating more regular food and I'll be less worried about nutrition and pooping.

I fear there is no hope for me. Mostly I'm afraid that I won't notice if someone stops pooping. Is this too crazy? Have I turned a corner I can't come back from? Poop-scapades?

Thursday, January 03, 2008

A Bloggy Poll

Alright faithful readers (all three of you), I'm going to allow to you vote on my next blog topic. I've had several things floating around my subconscious lately. Mostly because we've all been sick since Christmas and between the cold and the lack of sleep due to babies screaming through snot bubbles (ooh the visual on that one is just delish), I only have a subconscious.

here are the topics. Let me know which is least heinously boring:

1. Felipe the breast pump; our on-again-off-again love affair
2. Adventures in swaddling
3. The great cold of 2007
4. When I became an adult... unbeknownst to me
5. Out takes of the Christmas photo shoot (brought to you by the good people of Wally World)
6. Baby proofing: Do I even bother or should I just accept now that they are smarter than us?
7. Daily schedules. Now, with solid food and poop!!!

If none of these appeal to you, please feel free to write in your topic of interest. Perhaps I will care enough to answer your most burning questions re: my fascinating life here in Chez Baby Poop.