Monday, December 29, 2008

Yuletide Yakking

I think everyone is just about done with the Christmas Puke-a-thon. It began early Friday morning (the 19th for those of you playing the home edition) with C destroying her crib and friends and ended (we think) Friday evening (the 26th) with Z tossing her cookies into Grandma's overnight bag. Why did G-ma have an overnight bag? It seems no one was spared the virus, including poor uncle Fi. My mother had to come over and help us as H and I could barely stand up.

Yes, she who never throws up, not from pregnancy, sea-sickness, vomit inducing roller coasters, or 5 or so too many gin cocktails, yes, even I joined in the merriment.

I did so many loads of laundry and changed so many babies, it's a blur. Christmas day I slept on my mother's sofa. then Z barfed on the area rug. not on the hardwood floor, but on the 6x8 area rug. and into the coffee table drawers. She's good like that. Impeccable aim.

What about Sammy? Don't worry, he only has worms.

Please dear baby jesus, please let 2009 start off better than 2008 ended. We are running low on pepto and laundry soap.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Santa Claus is Coming...

... to your living room to scare the bejesus out of your children:

What? Santa doesn't ride around on a fire truck traumatizing children with goodies in your town?

And if Santa on a fire truck doesn't traumatize you, then maybe the same event last year will:

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Oh Christmas Tree

Or should I say kitten tree? Sam has decided that the tree is his domain:

Needless to say there are no ornaments on it. and he has eaten a fair amount of garland. and fake tree needles. Don't lecture me about kitten digestive systems, I'm sure I'll get it from the vet when I take his poop sample in all sparkly next week.

C&Z adore the tree. The say hello to it every morning and then promptly look for "nammy" hiding in the branches. Lately they are into "huggies" for poor Sam. He likes this as much as he enjoys the hair dryer after a bath.

Ever blowdried a soggy kitten. massive good time. you should try it.

We also took the girls to get their pictures taken. More of a fiasco than last year, although, Z didn't barf on her own shirt this time. She did, however, try to escape our photo shoot and jump into other peoples. She was not very popular with the adults, but the other kids thought it was pretty funny. Then they realized there were two of them. C found the whole experience comical. The only time Z smiled was while she was chewing on an ornament. so sanitary.

So if I don't get a chance to post again, have a merry merry and happy happy whatever you celebrate. we celebrate everything.

And don't let your cat eat the tree. or the lights. or leaves he found on the floor. or old cheerios. or the candles in your christmas tree menorah. what? you don't have one of these?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Sam is almost better. He can poop in the litter box. But now I fear he has a head cold. He just sneezed and knocked himself out of the food dish. Funny, but distressing. plus he has eye-snots. And I think he's itching fleas again.

How do i manage to pick 'em? But at least he's cute. Which is a good thing as he is right now sitting on my lap and screaming in my face. if he wakes up a baby he's going to be one sorry ass kitten.

the girls went to sleep tonight at 6:45 due to no afternoon nap and general bitchiness. that's going to bite me in teh ass tomorrow when they get up at 6:45 and I try not to shoot myself in the face. I'll let you know how that goes.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

The Poop Chronicles

Why oh why won't sam stop pooping? He is on week 2 of antibiotics and kitty imodium and yet he still pooped all over the bathroom tonight. and to make matters worse,

{ahem, disclaimer, this may be more information that you want about me, so avert your eyes if you don't want to hear about girlie parts}

... as I was saying, have you ever tried to change a pad while avoiding stepping in liquid cat shit and keeping a crap covered kitten from scaling your leg and sitting in your underpants, exactly where aforementioned pad should be positioned? No? Really? You are missing out. It should be an olympic sport. Or at least videotaped for some bloopers show. except you'd have to blur most of the screen where my gigantic naked ass would be.

So you can tell I'm in rare form tonight. I won't even comment on the election. I am afraid to turn on the TV and see what's going on. Instead I will leave you with two pictures. One of a very brave (but stupid) man and one of the joy that is halloween....

seriously, would you let this sit on your shoulder?

This is how C&Z went trick or treating. in the living room. with the candy for the neighborhood kids. Yeah, we're real popular these days...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

As if it wasn't bad enough

got a new kitten. his name is sam. he is 6 weeks old. he is a rescue. he lived in a shed. he has worms. he poops a lot. not always in his box. yesterday I cleaned up 4 separate kitten poops off carpet. I do not have a lot of carpet. sam likes to shit on carpet. or my bed. which I also had to wash. along with two t-shirts and a pair of pants. and the bathmat. three of them. sam likes to shit on carpet. sam also now has kitten hemroids. I have to put vaseline on sam's butt. good thing sam is cute.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

home again home again

does anyone else feel like the fat hog? After witnessing self in vacation photos, I do believe it's time to actually diet and gasp attempt to lose extra 50lbs of baby weight. i can't even post the picture as i am too rotund and my children are drinking from bottles and i don't want to hear about it. Bottles make them sleepy and they take naps. and cookies make me happy and fat.

but here's a few shots of williamsburg, twin style.

Z's rockstar shot

Toes in the water

C and her accessories... pants optional

Wherein Z runs after a horsedrawn carriage, H pursues and C runs after yelling "NoNONONONO!"

Monday, October 06, 2008


We did it. We drove two toddlers 10+ hours to Virginia. And with only moderate help from our furry red friend and the portable DVD player. I'm not even sure I can type the name...


without C running in the room and screaming at the TV. The ride was livable. Z took her two naps in the car with no complaint. C only took a morning nap and complained and chatted through the afternoon one. Once we stopped for dinner, I realized that she didn't sleep due to tragically wet pants. Bad mother. then she crashed after dinner for a half hour while Z watched a Baby Einstein DVD that's supposed to be sleep inducing. However, it has sheep. Sheep are apparently zombified monsters that scream BAAAAAAAAAA! Which is how Z imitates them. everytime one appears on screen. or in a book. or a stuffed animal. or the thought of a sheep.

We finally arrived at the timeshare resort around 10pm. They were watching E... for the 3rd time in a row and sucking thumbs madly, but not sleeping. I sent H in to register/get the key. He returned and told me I was lucky he went in. here's what followed:

J: why? stupid and southern?
H: handing me confirmation page I had written directions on the back of
J: why? what?
H: pointing to date on sheet which reads October 5, 2008
J: huh?
H: pointing to date on watch which reads 04
J: oh shit.

Yes, we arrived a day early for our reservation. Which was entirely my fault as I apparently can't read. and I drove everyone crazy friday night and saturday morning trying to get out the door. Luckily, southern hospitality (and the twin card) worked in our favor and they gave us a unit that had been vacated and cleaned earlier that day.

Do you think I have a few too many things on my mind? I am ever so slowly devolving into my poor mother who is on her umpteenth wallet and eleventybillionth set of keys.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

happy belated birthday

H's birthday started off with a bang. or a barf. The girls had shots the day before and chose 12:30 to barf their brains out in the cribs. They had low grade fevers and chills and spent the rest of the night in bed with us.

Here's how H's bday ended:A little better. But C still looks ill. Z looks like a pyromaniac. Which she would get from her Daddy.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

life goes on

sorry for the lack of posting. but life. you know, it keeps going. there are diapers to change, food to throw on the floor, laundry to fold (or unfold)

we still miss petey, but the girls have mostly stopped looking for him. I however, can't do the dishes without seeing his sad little grave. so I bought a plant today to put out there. at least it's not so sad.

the other day a squirrel was literally dancing on him. I'm sure petey rolled over. at least once.

on the baby front, chloe now has 3 1/2 teeth and zoe has just one snaggle tooth. They are both being obsessed with Elmo right now. I couldn't listen to them begging anymore. I believe H is in there with them now, but he's most likley asleep.

Speaking of sleep, there was no afternoon nap today and now that I look at the time I should probably be making them some dinner as they are going to be tired early.

I'll try to post more regularly in the future. I know that you all need your nutty twin fix :)

Friday, September 05, 2008

Petey Parker Spider Cat

We all love Petey. And we will all miss Petey. He passed away yesterday and we buried him outside in the backyard, where he was always trying to get out to anyway.

He lived 31 twistie tie bopping, hair band stealing, broom chasing, toe pouncing, litter box destroying, basement exploring, eyebrow licking, baby guarding, tub drain drinking, best friend cuddling months. It wasn't enough time.

There will never be another kitten head like you, Petey Von Skippy Pants, the world's most helpful kitten. I miss you so much I think part of me died with you.

A Tribute to the Kittenest Cat:
Petey Catches A Mouse
Petey Sleeps with the Fishes
Petey Rules
Dangerous and Debonair
Blogging cat
Petey Fishes for Poop
Petey V. Body Pillow
At least he listens
Olympic Petey
Offer: One Spider Cat
Gourmet Kitten
Petey Sports a Mohawk
Toe Licking is Fun
What's Petey up to lately?

Friday, August 29, 2008

bad bad blogger

not much time to post these days. girls are up and running. everywhere. and I am exhausted. but I am at work now so it's nice and relaxing and therefore...

... I have nothing to say. Let's see, some recent developments:

the upstairs nursery is done and painted and decorated and has two little girls sleeping and napping in it. They LOOOOVE it! It has mad fun animals and toys they've never seen before and a piggy bank that they can point at and say "piggy" one million times. never gets old.

yesterday I let them crawl up the stairs for both naps. also mad fun. but led to Z getting carried half the way since C was zooming and Z liked to hand me every dust ball and cat hair on the steps. Which led to me sweeping steps. bad bad housekeeper as well. Starting yesterday and this morning, I let them walk out of their bedroom and onto the landing where I plopped them on my lap on the top step and bumped our way down. I am hoping this shows them how they should go down the steps and does not lead to a cave in due to the strain of my gargantuan ass galomphing on aged stairs. Let's pray we all don't wind up in the basement. Although Petey will find that amusing. If he can manage to stay awake long enough to care.

Petey has taken up residence on the foot of my bed. on my side. and by residence I mean he only leaves this spot to sniff disdainfully at his food dish and raise an unholy racket in his litter box. next to the babies' room. while they are sleeping. awesome. His new home also means that there is no place for my feet to reside whilst I try to sleep.

At least they are sleeping better and I started reading a book that has been sitting on the shelf for almost 2 years. It's a nerdy genetic book, but I think it's awesome and I'm sure it makes H cringe. He better cringe softly and out of range since it's a hefty volume and would most likely make a dent in his already lumpy head.

Today I stopped at bedbathandabsurd to return something and buy a veggi grill pan (the one with holes in it. how have I existed for so long without you?) and a helpful employee had to go in the back to find one. As grilling is done for the year and next week they will be rolling out snow shovels. I shit you not.

Enjoy your long weekend of BBQs and fall allergies. I myself, have a $4 coupon for zyrtec. yippie.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008


C is toddling all around these days and today, Z managed a few steps on her own. Her motivation? To show C the toy she had and not let her have it. Which led to screaming.


it is kind of cool that they can get around on their own a little better. Today I don't think I carried anyone anywhere. I let them crawl to their highchairs for meals and crawl to the bedroom for a diaper change. Mostly this was possible as H was working from home today.
I think I'd have better luck herding cats.
Just for fun, can you guess who's who? here they are "reading"

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


so I am not cool enough to understand twitter nonsense, but here's an excerpt from an email I just wrote crazy Diana, which I have a funny feeling did not send.... anyway

"also H says that I am dramatic and pathetic when sleep deprived and that is favorite is when I lose it in the middle of the night and swear at them for waking me up. Then I threaten to throw them in the garbage. Ok, I threaten Chloe since she's the trouble maker. last night she got into bed with us (not on her own, although H claims ignorance to her crib escape) and kicked H in the face. so I told her it was time to go back in her crib. which she did. but not on her own."

the sleep situation is getting better. Z is pretty much sleeping through the night and C is only up once for a cuddle and to sneak into the big bed. The trick for us was a bottle of milk (regular buy-in-the-store-for-$6-a-gallon-organic-whole-milk) before bed. This led to night weaning which led to full out weaning. Which is awesome for me. I didn't realize how ready we all must have been to stop the breast feeding. They didn't really want to nurse during the day anymore and I was tired of listening to someone cry while they waited their turn. so whole milk it is. and more sleeping.

This weekend, H and I will be painting the nursery (what? people prepare their babies' room BEFORE they are born? What lunacy!) so that they can move upstairs and we might not have to wake up to short people staring at us and yelling "HI!!!" at top volume until you open one eye a tiny slit. Then they cry. because you aren't already holding them. both. at the same time. but not their sister. and can we pet the cat? and poke him in the eye? what about your eye? can we poke that? did you know z has a belly button? Do you have a belly button? can I find it? oh, and did you see petey? he's a cat? oh, and HI!!!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Twin Gear List

A friend is expecting twins this fall/winter and asked my advice on what was a MUST HAVE for the first few months. They live in an apt in NYC so space is a premium (as it is at my house. actually, I have little sympathy as I have a feeling they have more usable sq footage than we do, but I digress). She asked me about BF and cloth diapering and I know would appreciate feedback on that as well.

Here's what I came up with, but I'm sure I forgot a few things. Actually, I just thought of something to add and have since forgotten what the hell it was. Please send help. or ginko biloba. or gin. perhaps all three.

Here’s what you need bare bones:

A place to sleep

  • We had only one crib at first that I pushed up next to the bed. I got it used. I couldn't see buying a co-sleeper or double bassinet that might only be used for a few months. They slept together until they were 9 or 10 months old. They are still in our bedroom. No, I do not want to discuss that ;)
  • 4 sets of crib sheets – put 2 on at a time. That way if there’s a mess, there’s a clean sheet underneath. Saves time in the middle of the night when someone explodes. I never do this and always hate myself.
  • 2 waterproof sheets to go underneath each crib sheet (see above)
  • Sheet saver – this nifty little thing looks like a tiny changing pad with 4 strings. You put it under where their heads are and if they spit up you don’t have to change the whole crib. Major time saver. Before I had that, I stuck cloth diapers under their heads (where pillows would go)
  • 2 bouncy seats and/or swings. Ones that vibrate, play music and bouncy with your foot. The girls napped in these as the crib was made of lava. Also good staging area for the baby waiting to eat (tandem nursing was never fun for me). If it weren’t for the graco travel swings (the ones that the carseats snap into) they would have never slept and I would have jumped off the newburgh beacon bridge.
  • (edit: I remeber now what I forgot before... the baby sling. the one I had to have overnight shipped so that C would sleep and I could pee or eat something or pick my nose. the child continues to be a marsupial. how could I have forgotten the sling??!?)

    A place to eat

  • Double nursing pillow
  • Regular boppy – this is good to prop one baby up while waiting to be fed or after being fed to reduce the vomiting. Also better to take out with you during the day for nursing.
  • Nursing cover – It saved my sanity by letting me leave the house with two babies and not be arrested for indecent exposure ;)
  • Rocking chair or glider. You absolutely NEED a comfortable place to sit with arm rests that rocks. Splurge on this. Your ass will be the shape of this seat.
  • ? Highchairs – we have the ones that strap to your dining room chairs and turn into toddler booster seats. H would sit them in these (they recline for infants) so he could give them bottles in the middle of the night.
  • Starter pack of bottles – don’t buy too many. You don’t know what they will like. I’d start with born free. They have anti-gas valves and they are PBA free or whatever the hell that chemical is. We used Dr. Browns, but the girls didn’t take many bottles. Two a night until 6 months and then 2 a week until last month when they decided boobies were passé and now drink 24oz of cow’s milk from their bottles. Argh.

    A place to change your nasty diaper
  • We have a changing table in the bedroom. It is also a dresser that I smash all their clothes into. On my dresser next to it is a basket that I have the cloth diapers, wipes and some assortment of butt creams in.
  • Diaper pail – ours is from the diaper service. It is just a plastic garbage can with a lid. Very high tech. ;)
  • Washcloths – tiny newborns have mad sensitive skin and even the “sensitive” wipes are too harsh. Get a stock of cheap-ass washcloths and a small plastic bowl. Wet the washcloth with warm water, plop in bowl, wipe butt, rinse, throw in hamper or if not pooped on (and you are like me and sick of doing one million loads of laundry), rinse out in really hot water and hang to dry for next time. Repeat for second baby with new washcloth. We made Zoe patterned washcloths and Chloe was solids.
  • Cloth diapers – If you don’t get a diaper service, I recommend buying a starter kit of cloth from kissaluvs or stacinator. These are both all-in-one diapers that you put on just like disposables. When you are done, you throw them in a diaper pail and wash them yourself.

    I will now wax poetic about diapers. You DO NOT want to wash your own if you don’t have a washing machine. You will be doing 2-3 loads of laundry a day in the beginning. Trust me. Get diaper service for at least the first 6 months. Then you can re-assess your free time (or lack thereof). My diaper service is absurdly cheap since they operate out of Kingston. It may seem expensive, but the cost of disposables is atrocious. The girls also have an allergy to that gel stuff in ‘sposies. It pulls all the moisture out of their skin and turns them into red lizard butted creatures who scream at you. Awesome and disgusting. Also, they have new fasteners for the cloth. No more pins. If H can cloth diaper anyone can. He was very resistant in the beginning. Good thing I never listen to him.

    For all your cloth diapering queries, go to This is where I buy all my covers. They are used, but cheaper. It’s a whole site of cloth freaks and they are chatting about everything diaper related. Some of these people are nutty. But mostly everyone is really nice and helpful.

.... so what did I leave off? or what did I include that you feel wasn't truly necessary? Also, like I said, she's checking in so any feedback would be appreciated. Like links to sites that are chock full o' info, freebies, etc. These are her first so she still has free time to surf the web and make lists.

On the home front, we appear to be sleeping pretty regularly through the night. you would think this would improve my memory. HA!

Monday, July 14, 2008

more drinking = more peeing

anyone using cloth diapers have a suggestion on how to deal with the great pee-scapades that are going on here?

Now that the girls are drinking milk at 8oz clips before naps and bed, we are soaking everything. At night I'm using a prefold and 2 doublers with Stacinator deluxe fleece covers and that seems to be holding back the tide. But this is waaaay too much for during the day.

Daytime we are in prefolds with bummis super whisper wrap covers. Is there something better I could use at naptime since this is when the great pee-a-thon seems to be happening?

I'm using a diaper service and I really don't want to get into the whole all-in-one, wash your own diapers deal. I have enough on my plate keeping people fed and relatively clean.

Any feedback is sorely appreciated.


Friday, July 11, 2008


or, the magic of milk....

The last two nights the girls got bottles with 8oz of cow's milk before bed.

The last two nights I got 7 hours of straight sleep.


Who cares, I'm not messing with a good thing. If this keeps up I may be able to leave the house in matching shoes without having to triple check that I even have feet. It may also mean that they are effectively weaned.

I think I'm supposed to feel sad about that or nostalgic or something. Mostly I feel relieved. Although the boobies are complaining today and I did nurse C a few minutes just before bed to help her relax. (C has relaxing issues. let's just say she has two modes: insane and unconscious) But after all the trials and tribulations we had here with breast feeding, I'm glad we made it a year and even more happy to be (almost) done.

Now that I've said that they'll be up 3x tonight I'm sure.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Just how was vacation?

Yup, they hated it. Especially the swimming pool.

(as an update, Z slept through last night 7:15-6:30 and would have continued sleeping for at least a little while had her crabby sister not woken her up. C had to be rocked to sleep, per usual, but was only up around 2am and then again at 6. Tonight, same deal so far. Z sleeping by 7:30 C in the glider until almost 9. sigh)

Friday, June 13, 2008

Updates on Screaming and Boobies

last night everyone screamed from 1-2am. Then I gave in and nursed them. I think I will try Eva's suggestion/ previous experience and make a "no boobs before midnight" rule and then go from there. I think this is a rule of thumb everyone should follow. Regardless of your lactation situation. There is rarely a good reason for boobs before 12. I speak from experience.

On another, not totally unrelated front, I am breast pump free at work today. There are some big girls at my house today whith whole milk in a sippy cup.

I know, gasp, shock and awe. Also, how big are your boobs today.

Gi-Freakin'-Normous. Seriously, I had to borrow a safety pin to keep them contained. I thought about using it to deflate them, but I have feeling I will only spring a leak.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Night of 1,000 Screams


Or "Wherein We Teach Chloe That Her Crib is NOT Made of Lava"


Just to catch everyone up, Chloe has decided that sleeping in our bed is much preferable to her crib (which is made of fire or some other extremely painful surface to sleep upon, after 12am). I gave in on this over last week while we were on vacation (from which I have some of the funniest pictures of them dealing with sand), but since we've been home, it's only gotten worse.

So H and I decided that last night was D-day (or night, whatever, I'm tired). And since we are sleep training we might as well night wean. I didn't say this was a smart plan…

I went out to twin club dinner after helping get them into PJs. I nursed them both before I left and H was all prepped to put them to bed around 7:30.

At 7:30, Zoe was rubbing her face and sucking her thumb. She went right in the crib, grabbed her blankie and passed out. Chloe was lying on the floor sucking her thumb, but the minute her back hit the mattress she was pissed. Red faced, screaming, 'how could you do this to me?!', etc. H let her scream for 15 minutes, but, as he put it "I didn't know anyone could scream that much and derive extra energy from it. It was like the crib was fueling the anger". So he gave in and picked her up. They went back to the living room where she chewed on the TV remote until she fell asleep. Don't worry, H gave her stunt remote, but not until she had changed the channel and turned the DVD player on and off a few times. Then he tried to put her in the crib again. This time her meltdown woke up Zoe so poor H wound up taking both babies out to the living room to rock them in the glider. After around 45 minutes, they both fell asleep and he had to maneuver them through the house and back into the cribs without waking them. (Note that I do this quite frequently and let me tell you, it ain't easy to haul two dead weights through a small hallway without wacking their heads, tripping over a walker or kicking the cat)

I got home around 10:30 and H was just finishing his cold pizza, he looked like someone had beaten him. Apparently they had. At 11:30 I was headed to bed when I heard Zoe creeping in the crib. I decided to wait her out before going in there to go to bed. HA! You cannot outwait a hungry baby. She freaked and I wound up sitting with her in the rocking chair. But without the nursing. This is like poking a tiger. She was screaming and pulling on my shirt. At one point she tried to nurse through the shirt. It was a thin shirt and it might have worked, so I gave in. 4 minutes later she was in a coma. But not Chloe.

She didn't want to miss out on the all night scream-a-thon. H took her to the kitchen to get her a sippy cup with milk. She drank (reluctantly) an ounce or so. He brought her back to the bedroom and she went nuclear again. In an effort to not re-wake Zoe, I took her and held her on my lap. See above re: angry tiger. So she nursed again at 12am. After about 5 minutes, she was drifting off so I handed her to H to put back in her crib. HA! Again!

She grabbed my arm and was screaming like we were sending her to camp for the summer. And not just any camp, EVIL CRAFT CAMP where they make you macramé all your clothes and paint ashtrays.

H wrestled her away from me and plopped her in the volcanic crib. She screamed for another 15 or 20 minutes. How Zoe slept, I have no idea. But then the screaming stopped and she must have fallen asleep. I refused to get up and find out. Also I had the non-baby side of the bed at that point and I wasn't giving it up. She could have spit flaming arrows and it would have been H's problem.

Zoe was back up again at 5:30. I figured this was close enough to morning and I nursed her and put her back in the crib. She went back to sleep until 7:45. Chloe got up at 6 and managed to convince me that sleeping the next hour or so in bed with me was worth the extra sleep. She is very persuasive.

So final scores look something like this:


    2 rounds of nursing

    1 baby sleeping in the big bed for an hour and a half


    1 cold pizza

    1 wet T-shirt

    10 toes kicking me from 6-7:30am

    5 straight hours of sleep


Who's winning? I have no idea.


Monday, May 26, 2008

100th Post!

and it's going to be about how I feel like the naptime nazi right now. being the holiday weekend, all our schedules are off. Yesterday C refused her afternoon nap and then had a meltdown in the bathtub. I couldn't even finish snapping her pjs on. She was so mad and screaming her face off. Then she couldn't fall alseep and wound up in bed with me from midnight to two.

this morning they didn't wake up until after 8am (dont' worry, they still had the 4am demand-to-nurse!) and Z was so hungry she actually ate her oatmeal. I know, shocking.

Now it's 11am and I think C finally stopped screaming in the crib. now she's just moaning and sucking her thumb. I really didn't want the morning nap to get pushed too far back, but a nap needed to happen.

It's absolutely horrid to stand here and listen to the screaming....

so i'll tell you what we got done so far this weekend:

Saturday we rented a truck to pick up two swingsets a friend was giving us (one for us and one for grandma's house). Since we had the truck, we carted a washer and dryer of my mom's over to the town recycling center and ran into a guy who was on his way to sell two girls toddler beds to consignment. He also had twins so we scored to brand-new looking beds for $50. Then we moved some of my grandfather's furniture back to mom's for her guest room and scored ourselves grandpa's rolltop desk. However this took all day and resulted in baby meltdown in the car circa 7pm

Yesterday we went to sears and bought a new dishwasher with food disposal system (joy and rapture) and H bought a crazy electric lawn mower. he is very excited about battery powered green mowing. I could care less, as long as I don't have to do it. Who am I kidding? I'd be happy to pay the kid down the block, but H is into his mower. During naptime (in the morning, C boycotted the afternoon nap and spent it with me in the glider watching curious george) we re-organized the basement and made a space for my laptop and printer in the kitchen (more joy and rapture)

Today H is off to the Home Despot to buy some supplies to fill in the gaps in the hardwood floor made by pulling out an extraneous doorframe (don't ask) and to re-sheetrock over the now exposed 1870 wood frame of the house. Babies love to scratch their little fingernails on this super splintery wood and we won't even mention Petey (MUCH joy and rapture)

Well, it sounds all quiet on the bedroom front so maybe I can sneak in and steal a load of laundry to wash while babies pretend to nap. Or not. someone just complained again. it's going to be a long day.

Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday and going to parades and eating hotdogs and drinking beer. Think of me and my naptime struggles while you lay about in the grass and eat potato chips...

Saturday, May 24, 2008

some awesome things about twins

ok, the most fantabulous thing about having twins is....


I play this most exalted of excuse cards whenever I don't feel like doing something. which if you are me, is most usually always.

for example...

don't feel like trekking out to a house party or other social gathering? "uh, sorry, can't make it... the twins don't travel so well"

don't feel like making phone calls at work? "oh, gee, the twins kept me up all night, I'm really not coherent enough to speak"

don't feel like taking a shower? "oh those rascally twins, no time for hygiene today. Nary a tooth was brushed"

don't feel like talking to your husband? "can't really pay attention to your woes from work, honey, those nutty twins ran me ragged today"

This works on anyone, except for other MoMs. If you play this card on a fellow club member, though, they are usually nice enough to realize that you just don't feel like doing whatever it is and most likely won't call you out on it.

Because it might be true. Or you just might be anti-social like me. But for me, it's awesome. I now have a built in excuse for being a fat lazy lay about. I used to blame my mom ("oh, sorry, I can't drive you all to the party, my mom won't let me"), now I can transfer it to my kids.

little positives here people. little baby steps. since no one sleeps through the damn night and nursing is the #1 nightlife choice for the 9-12 month old set.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Why oh Why...

...does the village still have a fire whistle that goes off from the firehouse RIGHT BEHIND MY HOUSE everytime someone burns toast?

and why oh why do the good citizens of Fishkill feel the need to burn toast at 5:30am when I have babies who have basically slept all night and are in no danger of waking before 7?

There is a God. He is laughing at me. I would go outside and shake my fist, but it's nap time and I'm afraid he'll set the bell off again.


But, they SLEPT! a little crankiness in the early evening, but by 9pm all was quiet on the bedroom front.

and they've been down for a nap for an hour and 40 min.

i am typing as quiet as possible, but I fear I will not finish my coffee. and decaf is worse cold.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

almost human

last night Z took a "nap" from 6:45pm to 7:30. She then refused to go back to sleep until 9:30. But she did finally go to sleep and then C got up at midnight. H put her back down after a few minutes of cranking. She got up again at 3am to nurse. Z got up at 5:30am to nurse and went back to sleep. C got up at 7, nursed for 2 minutes and was so happy to be in my bed, she grabbed onto my shirt and fell back asleep. Z got up for the day at 7:45.

So I have two babies who "sleep through" but on slightly different schedules.

And I wonder why I look like I do?
Here's some pictures of people who look waaaay more well rested than me. I think that's juice dripping off Z's face, but it could be drool. I know, I'm a bad mother letting her drool all over herself... we won't even talk about the horrors I put her through yesterday, but her head-bump is going away.

Monday, May 05, 2008

bad bad blogger

i don't get a lot of computer time these days. but that's because there is a lot going on around here.

I had a physical therapist come out to the house to give us an evaluation. Turns out that I'm not crazy and the girls are a little delayed in their motor skills. but not enough to get us any free services, just enough to make me feel bad and give me a new job of SAHPT. so in addition to keeping house from falling apart, cat from shedding everywhere, babies from starving, falling, rolling into stuff they shouldn't and/or being too filthy, I am now in charge of increasing gross motor skills.

which in reality means a lot of tummy time while I cruelly move toys out of reach. and you can just imagine how much they love that. so there's never any crying here.

which leads me to the great sleep fiasco of 08. no one wants to sleep in a crib. well, that's not true, I think H may opt to sleep in a crib soon. Friday night I hit my breaking point. I slept the whole night with C on my arm and when I tried to roll over or even move, she would scream.

So saturday she learned how to sleep in her crib like a big girl. it took her 45 min to fall asleep while H sang to them and then she screamed from 3:30 to 5:30. yes, two hours of shrieking. Z slept through the whole thing not 2 feet away. Petey did not. he was pissed. he kept licking me and batting at my arm as if to say "get up and get that thing to shut up" but I refused. H went to the crib every few minutes when she would spazz really badly. She was a very tired girl yesterday.

But last night I put them to bed myself. I just sang until they both were quiet. C was sleeping, but Z was still awake when I left the room. and she slept until 7am! not a peep. C got up at 3 to nurse and went right back into her crib no complaints and got up at 7 as well.

A few more nights like that and I might be human.

So it looks like we have "sleepign through the night" in the near future and possibly crawling as Z is up on her hands and knees and rocking back and forth. She also has a nice gash and egg abover her right eye as some stupid mommy thought it would be a good idea to practice crawling on the changing table. Needless to say, Z face planted onto the metal hinge on the table top.

That should look awesome for the baptism pics on saturday.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Sleep chronicles, part 2

I am a wimp. I admit it. here. freely. to the whole wide web. I have given in to babies and have been sleep trained by them. They clearly have read more books on the subject. There must be some hidden messages in Moo Baa LaLaLa that tell babies how to wear down poor pitiful mothers so that they will, after only a week or so of training, submit to your will.

'Crying it out' in our house should really be called 'puking it out' as that's what they do. Z specifically. and I am tired of changing pjs and sometimes crib sheets.

I also decided that this cannot possibly go on for ever. They are 9 1/2 months now. C shows little to no interest in nursing during the day and I'm pretty sure that once she discovers the true functionality of the sippy cup, I will become obsolete in her world. She is also working on crawling... right now she looks like a little green army man with epilepsy, but she'll get there. When she does, I will have to tie a rope around her to find her. Z may hang in there for a few more months, but I have a feeling both babies will be self-weaned by the fall, if not sooner.

Of course, now that I've said that I'll be back complaining in august.

But since they are really only getting up twice a night and it isn't likely to last much longer, I've given in and I let them nurse for the two minutes they want and snuggle in bed with me. I'm trying to soak up all the 'baby' I can these days. They are looking more and more like big girls and I know I'll miss the baby days in the not so distant future.

And NO, this will NOT make me want more. I said I will miss those days, not that I've had a complete frontal lobotomy. I have pictures, this blog, and a paper journal to remind me of what it was really like.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

sleep chronicles part 1

they refused to go to bed last night until H came home. at 8:30. I gave them a bath at around 7, put them in their pjs, nursed them both. They weren't the slightest bit tired. so we read some books on the bed and sang some songs. still not a yawn. I put them in the crib. Petey left the room as his ears are more sensitive than mine. I gave in and took them to the living room. I put them onthe floor and put all the toys away. Then I sat on the couch and read a magazine, ignoring them. they rolled around and sucked their thumbs. When H finally got home, they cracked up laughing and he put them to bed one at a time, with nary a complaint.

Chloe got up at 12:30 for a quick snack and a cuddle and then there was not a peep until 6am. At 6 they both nursed and got clean diapers. No one would go back in the crib. I made a baby sandwich and we all fell back asleep until 8:45.

So needless to say there was no morning nap. by 12 there was freaking. crying and sobbing and eye rubbing and yet, hungry for lunch. I fed them yogurt through the blubbering.

Now they are napping. let's hope I get a good two hours out of this as it's likely to be the only nap they take today.

Do you think they really could be waiting for H to come home to go to bed? Or is there something fundamentally wrong with how I place them in the crib? Oy.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Babies who won't sleep

am I the only one who has this model of baby? If I had known there was an option for the "sleeping baby" model, I would have ordered it. I certainly would not have ordered TWO of the non-sleeping model.

They are 9 months old. I feel like they should be able to sleep more than 4 or 5 hours at a time. They eat three decent sized meals of solid foods and nurse 4-5 times a day. They have a nightly ritual with baths and pjs and nursing that's been going on for months.

So why did bedtime begin at 7:15pm and end now-ish at 8:45? It's not even really fully over as I can still hear someone periodically shriek from the crib.

I have dear dr. ferber's book and the man would probably be a genius had I had only one baby. even one of the non-sleeping models. But I simply cannot let one baby cry for several hours while the other one is inches away. It gets on her (the other baby's) nerves. And by that I mean, causes her to join in the cacauphony of screams. Which makes me want to run away. literally. I feel like a terrible mother as I am at the point where the crying doesn't make me feel bad, it just annoys me.

I can't move them out of my bedroom since the other bedrooms in the house are upstairs and there is no way on god's green earth that I am going to be dragging my fat ass up the stairs 4 and 5 times a night. I don't even want to do it once a day. There are weeks where I don't venture to that floor of the house at all :)

So I'm tired. and I have no quality of life as I live in fear of bedtime. The whole day could be great with laughs and giggles and fun and when 6:00 rolls around I go into a mild panic about how to get them to go to sleep and leave me alone. so I can have 5 minutes to myself. until petey parks himself on my lap.

Apparently I'm not allowed to have no one touching me.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Big Girls Don't Cry

Babies who look cute for Easter DO NOT like having their pictures taken:

In case you wanted to guess, C is on the left and yes, she has gel in her hair as she woke up looking like a rooster. or stegasaurus. Z is on the right and is apparently annoyed that the photo shoot is taking so long. I told her to talk to her sister.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Break-out Babies

Tell me this doesn't look like they've just recently escaped...

Or that C is trying to steal Z's toy. 'Cause that NEVER happens here...

Monday, March 03, 2008

So Long...

My grandfather passed away yesterday morning. To say we will miss him is an understatement.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Pretty pretty Princesses!!!!

I know everyone with boys is jealous now! I also challenge anyone who says they "always know" to tell me which baby is which. Just try :)

Sunday, February 24, 2008


We went to visit my grandfather yesterday. He has made a somewhat miraculous recovery and they are talking about sending him directly home, not even to a step-down rehab center. We are not really sure what happened. Even the doctors are shocked. I'll just say thanks again.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Can't sleep

sleep is never a problem for me. I can sleep anywhere. When H and I first met he played on a dart league and I used to go and sleep in a booth in the bars while they played. I've slept through babies screaming and through major construction.

Tonight I can't sleep.

My grandfather is dying. Not in the "we're all going to die; he's 90, etc" sense, but in the very real sense of dying. Minute by minute. His kidneys are no longer functioning, his heart is failing and he's had at least one stroke. Second by second his life is ending. I can't sleep through it.

My grandfather is a patriarch in the true sense of the word. If it weren't for him, my entire extended family would have parted ways long ago. He had four children and four wives. I'm not sure who caused more trouble. His investments helped me buy my house and take 6 months off with my babies. He paid for my room and board my first year at college to make sure I went away to school. He bought me my first car. and my second. He bought me my first diamond earrings and ring. He never missed my birthday, although sometimes he'd remember in October. He had a fantastic garden and grew the biggest squash in westchester county. He would always stop for a hotdog and as late as last year bought me ice cream cones whenever I drove him to the doctor. He basically built my mother's house and just a few years ago, she came home to find him underneath her kitchen sink, fixing the drain. He was 86 and was tightening the pipes by hand. That year he also built her a pool deck.

He told great stories about his younger days. Most of them involved him getting arrested or beating someone up. A few months ago he lamented to H that he could no longer make a good fist, so how on earth was he going to punch anyone. We didn't mess with him. He once pulled the phone out of the wall while my mother was on it. She was a teenager and she talked too much. She still does. He kept us all in line. One year at Christmas my aunt complained that she should get a larger gift since she was the oldest. My mother threw a fit and didn't speak to her sister the entire year. The next Christmas, he gave everyone their gifts and told my aunt hers was more since she was the oldest. She got an extra dollar.

He taught us all how to behave and how to be respectful. You didn't enter without personally greeting him or leave without saying goodbye. He danced at my wedding and complained that I couldn't keep up. He stuck around to see the babies. Actually, we blame him for them being twins. When we told the family last Christmas that I was pregnant, he said, "Good, it should be twins. It's time for more twins in this family". I told him that was a terrible thing to wish on someone. Three weeks later, I had an ultrasound with an extra baby. He thought it was very funny. When the babies were born and they were in the NICU, he made my mother drive him the hour to see them. When they got to the hospital, she offered him a wheelchair since the NICU was in the back of the building and not an easy walk. He made it in on his own two feet and held both babies for almost an hour. We gave him a picture of him holding the two tiny bundles and it's sitting on the table next to his recliner where he spends most of his time these days. He told my aunt that they keep him awake at night; he can hear them crying. So for Christmas this year I gave him a picture of them laughing. It's sitting right next to the first one.

When he dies, there will be a lot of blame being passed around and I'm sure my mother and her siblings will come to blows about who should have done what to help him. But I know he lived a hard life and he's tired. He's been too tired to fight for a year or so now. I don't want him to go. I feel like there are so many things that I want to ask about his life. Stories that no one else will know now. He was the youngest of 10 children. His father came from Italy and carried an anvil in his arms up the train out of the city to start the iron works. His mother was the sister of his father's first wife and she came over to raise her sister's children when she was ill. She married her brother-in-law and had a baby 6 months after her sister's last child. No one talked about it. There was a set of fraternal twins, but I don't know which sister's children they were and I don't remember if they were girls or boys. I wish I could go to the hospital tomorrow with a notebook and write everything down. But it's too late. And I feel guilty that I haven't seen him since Christmas. I feel that I should have done more. Mostly I feel like I ran out of time. There couldn't be enough time to thank him for everything he's done for me. If it weren't for him, I might not have gone to college, I wouldn't have bought this house and I most likely wouldn't have had twins. If I tried to thank him, he'd just shrug it off anyway. As far as he's concerned, that's what you do for your family.

So in honor of my grandfather and his last few days here with us, here are some photos of the man who taught me what family was:

Thank you.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Happy 8 Months to C & Z and a happy 2 months to JT (as he is affectionately known at our house).

So far 8 months is fun. However, I have noticed that it is creeping up on my 1 year anniversary of not working. (No, I’m not counting my 2 day a week gig as a real job. I have almost no responsibility and I don’t have to go there everyday). Upon this discovery, I’ve also realized that I’ve hit a new low in SAHM-dom.

I am DVR-ing Oprah.

This leads me to the next more important reason for this post:

The BonTon Pact of 1997

Wherein Susan and I vowed to immediately end the life of the other were she ever to be seen wearing a plus sized sweatshirt with animals or flowers appliquéd to it.

I wish to make a few additions to this pact. I should just call S on the phone since she’s really the only one responsible for putting me (and anyone who can see me) out of my misery, but I am preserving the sanctity of nap time.

1. Should either of us ever call Oprah to give us a makeover…
2. Should I ever require Oprah to give me a makeover…
3. Should I been seen wearing maternity clothes after my children can walk and speak…

…Immediate end of life should ensue.

There, I feel better. It’s hard being this frumpy for this long. I gave myself a year to focus on the babies and not worry about what I look like, but god almighty, I’m starting to scare myself. That said, I will now make another vow, right here on the internet that you can all hold me to:

By my 31st birthday I will go through my entire closet and eliminate every article of clothing that does not fit and flatter whatever shape I happen to be at that time.

This may not seem like such a big deal if you never seen my closet. If you have, or if you have been unlucky enough to try to go through it with me (poor f.fanny may never recover) you understand what an undertaking this would be. It WILL happen. I WILL, by next fall, be less hideous than I am now. It may also involve a haircut. I know, but drastic times…

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Sippy Success!

Both girls drank an ounce or so out of sippy cups. I had to help them hold the cups up to their mouths at the right angles, but they drank... water! can you believe it? I barely can.

I have to work tomorrow and H will be home with the baby girls. Good luck to him, I hope it's not too ugly. But now I'm going to sleep. The girls have reverted back to getting up twice a night to nurse. ugh. so tired.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Food Fights Revisted

So after much advice both here and from my twinny group, here's the gastronomic update:

Z ate both her breakfast and dinner today. For breakfast we had bananas and apples with a tiny bit of oatmeal mixed in to make it a little thicker. For dinner it was squash and avocado mixed with 1/4c of oatmeal made with formula, but it was pretty lumpy.

So perhaps it's just that she wanted something with a little bulk to it and I've been making everything super smooth.

Also, just in case you cared, they both had gigantic poops today. Poops that could have been made by a much larger child. I'm not sure where all the poop came from. I was a little scared.

I made a batch of bananas and carrots today to feed them for the next week or so. C loves the hand blender so I usually let her chill in the kitchen in a seat while I do it. She's a wierdo

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Petey Parker Spider Cat

In case you were wondering what Petey has been up to lately:

There's napping:

Guarding boxes:
And baking biscuits:
As you can see, being Petey is extremely time consuming and would explain why he is currenlty retiring up to his room (also known as the nursery. since no babies sleep up there, Petey has claimed it for his own) for a few hours of napping. But don't worry, he'll be bright eyed and bushy tailed just in time for eyebrow licking while babies try to nurse in the middle of the night.

The Great Digestion Debate

We've been doing solid food for a while now and I have some questions. I posed them to the twin club, but I thought I'd get some sage advice here as well.

C will eat most anything, but Z is a bit more discerning re: texture, temperature, color of spoon, etc. They eat two "meals" and I'm wondering what exactly I'm supposed to be feeding them. For "breakfast" they have fruit and sometimes yogurt (well, no yogurt for z. if it's not hot she's not opening her lips. one. bit) and for "dinner" they have two vegis and oatmeal (since neither will eat rice cereal). Is this normal? Should I be giving them cereal twice a day? It tends to bind them up and we had a fun night of screaming while not pooping on Monday that I'd like to never repeat. (You really don't know fun until you've physically removed poop from your baby's butt because she can't do it herself. Ask H. )

They seem to be otherwise happy and still nursing ~5-6 times a day. In other related weirdness, they will only eat cereal if it's mixed with formula and not just any formula, but the premie formula. I tried switching them to plain old similac and no one was having that. Z went on a bottle strike while I was at work and forget eating food mixed with new formula.

Oh and no one will drink from a sippy cup. The sight of the sippy cup makes Z cry and C uses hers as a teething toy. When I put them in their mouths to show them that there's liquid inside, they gag and look at me like I've offended them. I've tried putting plain water, sugar water, formula and breast milk in the sippy cups. Same looks of insanity. What should I do about this? Any thoughts? C knows exactly what to do with the cup; she grabs both handles and stuffs the spout into her mouth, but doesn't want to suck on it. Only chew it. Z wants it to go away and tosses it off the highchair tray. repeatedly. Will they ever learn to drink from a cup? Or will I be sending Z to school with a paper mache boobie in her Dora the Explorer lunch box?

*beware of picture below as it contains graphic images of obvious child neglect. Wherein I put my twins in walkers so that I can get the bathtub ready for them without listening to screams from the other room. I know, what a horrid parent I am.*

This was the other night while I was getting the bath together. Z scooted herself backwards until she could reach out and grab C's hand. They did this repeatedly and are totally fascinated with each others faces and hands now. Today I had Z in my lap and C was in her bouncy and they kept touching hands and cracking up. It's really freakin' cute.

* C is on the left and, yes, that is a phone book under her feet since the height doesn't adjust any lower and she is just a touch too short. thankfully, neither has really figured out how to move the walkers around too much. I fear the day of mobility*

Monday, February 04, 2008

Who's right?

Extra Points to anyone who know's who's who and if they are telling the truth with their T-shirts.

Thursday, January 31, 2008


In response to Kerri, I am pretty sure that Z sounds just like baby stewie in her own head. Also, I believe that Petey plays a role in her mad schemes. And in response to Kat, my babies are made entirely of peanut butter. it's a cheap source of protein so I can afford to spend money on organic avocados and other baby food crap.

Someone over at the twin mommy club I belong to posed the "What do you do with your twins all day" Here's my response in case any of you are just consumed with needing to know what it is exactly that I do all day long... Today was actually a really good day. No one screamed in my face. For the whole day. WooHoo! Anyway, here's what we do:

5-6ish: Feed babies and hopefully get H to change them before he goes off to work. Fall back asleep while telling self to get up and do things like laundry.

8ish: Finally haul self out of bed to giggling babies who are slapping each other in the crib. Get them up and start getting breakfast together. I get them into high chairs, heat up frozen fruit cubes and shovel it into babies faces. Or around babies faces. Or near their faces. After they eat, we head back into the bedroom to get clean clothes (and diapers). Once they are cleaned up I nurse them both and they usually take a nap as it is now close to 11am.

11-12 glorious glorious nap time!!!

After naps I change them again and we journey out to the living room to either chill out in bouncy seats or play on the play mat with some toys. Usually they will nurse again around 12 or 1 and then again between 3 and 4. I try to put them down for a nap after that second afternoon feeding, but sometimes (usually) this doesn't go so well and they just crash out in their bouncy seats. Today, however, they both slept from 3 to 5.

Dinner happens around 5 or 5:30 and consists of a delish mash up of vegis, oatmeal and formula. I shovel this into C as fast as possible (she would prefer a funnel) and then spend 10-20 minutes negotiating with Z. Who moans and or cries the whole time. while still eating. she is an odd duck. Usually at least one baby poops.

Then it's bathtime. C is very into getting as much water out of the tub as possible. Z just enjoys being naked and kicking her feet around and lifting her butt up in the air. They get into their PJs with the heavy duty fleece diaper covers and I nurse them and plop them into the crib. Sometimes they go right to sleep. Sometimes we play "shake, rattle and roll" for a little while. We are still swaddling them with one arm out a piece since they've started sucking their thumbs and frankly it keeps them quiet at night. They usually konk out around 8pm, but the last two nights we've bumped that up to 7-7:30.

Then C is up sometime around 4am. Sometimes I feed them both. Sometimes I let Z sleep. It depends on how tired I am and if she's really soundly sleeping.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Just in case you all were interested. which I know you are, because, seriously, this shit is fascinating...

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Under Pressure

I'm trying to formulate a post about the pressure to be the perfect mother. I'm not quite sure what I want to say, but it's so unfortunate that I feel a lot of times like I'm not enjoying them as much as I should becuase I feel this pressure to be doing the "right" thing. For example...


I friggin' hate eduational toys. There are no educational toys for a 7 month old. they are babies. They want to chew on shit and see stuff that lights up and plays doofy melodies... they don't want to learn french or calculus. they want to chew shit. well, mostly C. Z wants to take over the world.

walkers/exersaucers: toy of satan or fun for twins who chew on everything? In order to eat dinner, or make baby food for the ravenous teething twins, I occaisionally have to stick them some where other than on me. The bouncy seats are no longer cutting it, but the girls still haven't mastered (or don't care to) the art of sitting. So for a few minutes a day they get plopped in a walker or exersaucer. C chews on whatever is in front of her. Z attempts to dismantle hers while moaning her evil plan to her henchmen. I lock the basement door and put a chair in front of it. I don't know why, their little feet barely reach the floor... but I took a header down basement steps at my 1st birthday party, and well, we've seen what that does ;) Anyway, does this make me "worst mother ever"? I hardly think so, but if I read one more dumbass book that equates these toys to burning your child with cigarettes, I may lose it.

Or how about teething rings? Why can't I freeze them? C wants to eat the fridge. Or the cat. If he were frozen. My mother found a teething ring in her fridge that was most likely Ed's if not mine. It's probably made of liquid lead. C loves it. no, that's an understatement. they are eloping next friday.

Television: See above re: walkers. Sometimes we are needing some Noggin' around here. Like this morning when I had to pump and babies did not want to chill on the play mat or read Don Quixote in the original Spanish. So we had a double no no: babies in walkers watching telelvision. Child protective services should have just walked on in and skipped the pleasantries. I mean, what an unfit mother I must be to allow my children to stare blissfully at big-eyed bugs on Miss Spider while I hook myself up to have a rendezvous with Felipe. So. They. Can. Eat.


Food is one of these areas where I feel like I need to make sure they are getting the right nutrients in the right balances and that more of it gets in then on them. Like if they eat bananas too many days in a row, they will be missing some key ingredient in oh, say, sweet potatoes that will make them Mouth breathers instead of Mensa members. this is absurd. There is no way that my mother could have possibly put this much thought into my food intake. The woman can't remember where she put her cell phone down after hanging it up. (this happened twice today). I'm reasonably intelligent. And look at H. he's pretty damn functional considering the bizarre inedible food product his mother likley served. (I reference the rosh hashana brisket/stewed cauliflower/corn on the cob debaucle of '03)

then there's the organic, free-range, hormone free hoopla. I know for a fact that my mother didn't buy organic vegetables when she made her baby food. Granted, there may have been fewer pesticides, but then again, it was the late 70's, so it was probably worse. People were less concerned or less aware of the crap on their food. I wholly buy into the organic fear mongering. I can't afford gas some weeks, but I am buying organic locally grown apples. At least I've down graded my own dairy from organic to "hormone free". Personally for myself I could give a shit about bovine growth hormone, but I went through puberty early and lord knows I don't need them with boobs at age 7. I have enough problems on my hands with identical twins, at least one of which may be an evil scientist.

The thing is that I feel like we are all driving ourselves crazy. You have to do what works for you and what's best for your life and your family. Do I think it would be better if I didn't have to rely on gadgets to keep my children from screaming so loud the dogs across the street bark? Yes. Is it likely to happen? Um, sure. If I cloned myself and hired a chef and housekeeper. I am doing the best I can with what I've got. I've got two well attached babies who are growing almost perceptively and need attention. We read books, we sing nursery rhymes, we eat two meals a day of organic fruits, vegis, oatmeal and yogurt. They have started taking naps in the crib in the morning and they go to bed every night by 8pm at the latest (we are working this up to 7 as I think they need more sleep and frankly I need less cranky babies at night). But that pressure is still there to measure up to some unatainable goal. I have gotten myself off the hook lately by thinking "maybe that would be possible if I only had one baby..." but I have a feeling there's only so much one woman can do.

Unless you are my mom. Who literally is a super hero. When I was a kid, she brought me roses after a show and signed the card "Super Mom" as a joke. Except it's true. Tonight she came by after work to watch them while I went to the doctor. Then she stayed to help feed them dinner. Then she gave them both baths and while I nursed them to sleep, she put away the bath stuff, did my dishes and cleaned my kitchen. Then she went to play bridge. But she called me from the car to say she couldn't remember who's house the bridge game was at. At least she could find her cell phone.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Why am I not sleeping?

I am tired. really tired. babies are waking up several times a night with hurting teeth. But I'm not asleep. why? because I am trying to have recapture some semblance of a normal life. Normal people don't go to bed at 10pm. But then normal people don't have teething twins.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Giving Thanks

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the girls’ birth. Mostly this has been coming up since I’m now working at the hospital where they were born. Mostly because of the hand soap.

When you go to the NICU, you get an education on hand washing. They are very strict about it. And the smell and feel of that soap is something I will never forget. Now that I am working here, every time I go to the bathroom, I have a NICU flashback.

I am incredibly grateful. That is the understatement of the year. There are no words to express how I feel about the fact that my two tiny little peanuts who didn’t even tip the scale at 5 lbs, now eat cereal and fruit like it’s going out of style and have learned to turn the mobile on and off in their crib.

They are scooting themselves around on their backs and almost rolling over and sitting up (sounds like puppies, right?) and in those first few days they couldn’t even eat. C sometimes forgot to breathe.

One night while they were still in the NICU, a night or two after I had been discharged, I woke up panicked and made H call to check on them. C had stopped breathing for a few minutes, but ‘don’t worry,’ they said. ‘She only needed a little mild stim and she came right back’. Which part was scarier, that she had stopped breathing or that if she had been home, I wouldn’t have known what to do? How did I know she needed me?

I chose my OB/GYN based on proximity to my house and where they delivered. Before I was even pregnant or planning it. I did my research; I knew the NICU reputation, before I knew I was having twins. I stopped working at 24 weeks and went on restricted activity not much after that. I stuffed myself to make sure they could gain enough weight (ok, that part was fun). I did everything right. They still came 6 weeks early. 3 weeks before I had anticipated them (being they were multiples and likely to be born early). They even switched their birth order. They had their own agenda.

I am not going to obsess about food intake or milestones or even poop anymore. I’m retiring the log books. I am just going to be happy and grateful that I have two beautiful, healthy, (if you don’t mind some snots now and then), happy and funny baby girls. Last night I literally got down on my knees to thank god that they are here and they are who they are.

And I’m buying scented hand lotion to keep in my desk drawer so I can stop tearing up every time I wash my damn hands.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

After Much Anticipation

Here are the Xmas out takes. It's only a month late :)

Look how nice and smiley we are... such good babies....

Bleahahaha.... says Z. C is not amused.

Are we still doing this?
Really? Still?

Smell my foooot! Z smells it, can you? Scratch and sniff...

And Finally:
Oh! Snap!