Last night I had a dream that involved Kermit the Frog, an incredibly stodgy vampire who wore a lot of cologne and an disney-esque amusement park. I think I need to get out more.

Also, could someone please come to my house and explain to my children that they are, in fact, two distinct people and therefore cannot continue to be a vegetarian and a carnivore. Vitamins and protein will not miraculously flow through osmosis when you slap your sister or fall off the couch on top of her.

and finally, I had the distinct pleasure of taking in a poop sample to the vet for Sam the Man. I believe he may be knitting a sweater with his butt. I have a few guesses as to where he may have ingested bright orange yarn... the only question is was he in the crib at the time or was he being fed blankie from one of the inmates?