I just got off the phone with chase who charged me $10 for overdraft and $1.50 in finance charges when I paid the damn overdraft the next fucking day! What is the point of overdraft protection if I have to pay multiple fees? and I had the money in my savings acct. But will they let me link my savings to my checking? Noooooo. how would they periodically scam money off of me if I had a savings link. I do realize that in the grand scheme of life $11.50 is not the end of the world, but what the fuck do I spend time clipping coupons and reading the goddamn grocery circulars for if I have to pay absurd fees? and also, what good is a text telling you that your account is about to be in overdraft if it comes the day AFTER the mother fucker has posted? Just like the street signs in jersey "You've just missed Exit 4. Nah Nah" Fuck you too!
Don't you wish you had an appointment with me today to discuss your abnormal ultrasound results?
p.s. Clearly I need a drink. or eight. and to NOT wake up to "DOC! WHERE ARE YOU DOC HUDSON?!? WHY ARE YOU UNDER ZOE'S CRIBBY?!?! ZOE!!! ZOE!!! HELP ME FIND DOC!!! OH NO!!!! HOW WILL DOC GET BACK INTO MY CRIBBY?!?! MOMMY AND DADDY!!!! DOC IS UNDER ZOE'S CRIBBY!!!! OH WON'T SOMEONE HELP ME!?!?!?!?!" at 6am. followed by a morning worth of "I'M TIRED! I NEED TO WATCH SOMEFING ON TV!! WHERE IS PINK BLANKET?! I NEED MY CARS TO WATCH ME EAT BREAKFAST! NO!!!! I HATE APPLE JUICE! WHY IS THERE NO ORANGE JUICE?! WHY ARE YOU A TERRIBLE MOMMY WHO DIDN'T BUY ME ORANGE JUICE?! GO TO SHOPRITE AND GET SOME! NOW!!!!" I actually ran out the door when the babysitter showed up. which made Chloe cry. more. as if that were even possible.