Happy Halloweenie!!!

C as Thing 1 and Z as Thing 2.

We are enjoying our vacation to virginia beach. It's a little cold, but we took walk on the beach today with the babies in carriers. They seemed to enjoy themselves, well, C slept in the sling, but Z took in the waves and sand and then fell asleep.

They are up to almost 7 oz on their middle of the night bottle. and today while we were out to lunch, C was watching me eat hushpuppies and licking her lips... could they be ready to start rice cereal?

If anyone has advise or suggested reading materials to start the twins on food or if it seems waaay too early for food.... i'm all ears

food fights

I've been meaning to write something about this for a while, and I realized that I don't have the time or the mental energy to make it as coherent as it should be so i'll just give you what falls out of my head re: feeding starving little monsters.

I always intended to breast feed. When I found out I was having twins, it didn't even occur to me that it might be more difficult. I figured I have two babies, I have two boobs, seems even to me. And all the books and pamphlets they give you tell you it's the most natural healthy blah blah blah thing. I just figured it would be easy. A baby would cry, I would whip out a boob and all would be right with the world.

Then the girls showed up 6 weeks early with teeny tiny mouths and no suck reflex. They were on tube feedings for the first few days. The first time I tried to nurse in the NICU, Susan was there and I'm pretty sure I traumatized her. My boobs were enormous and the babies' mouths were miniature. They couldn't latch and they couldn't swallow. Not that it mattered, nothing came out anyway.

I rented the hospital grade pump and pumped religiously every 2 hours to make milk come in. I have a log book that I track all the feedings and diapers in and the first few weeks would make anyone cry. I was nursing each baby for however long they would stay on. Then we would supplement them with bottles of mostly breast milk (but sometimes with formula if I couldn't manage to pump enough) and then I would pump for another 15 minutes or so.

All I did was feed babies. Then they hit a few growth spurts. I was nursing them upwards of 10 times a day. each. and everytime I had to feed one, I had to find and clean a nipple shield since this was the only way they would latch on. They would also use the nipple shield (with me in it) as a chew toy.

I cried all the time. I felt totally useless and like I was doing something horribly wrong. I had consults with the lactation lady who tried to convince me that the girls had neurologic difficulties that were keeping them from effectively eating.

Around 6 weeks I decided that this was ridiculous and they were going to have to learn how to eat from boobs free from shields and without getting bottle supplements. Within a week they were nursing like babies. H gave them bottles in the middle of the night and I stopped waking up at that overnight feeding to pump. I would just wait until the morning.

They've gained 7lbs a piece since birth and they are down to 6 feedings a day with two long stretches at night. I still fight with them on a daily basis, especially C, to get them latched on and comfy to eat well and it still hurts when they decide they'd rather use me as a chew toy or pretend I am a giant bendy straw.

My point in posting all of this is not to say "poor me, my life is so bad" or to complain about how much more work it is with twins blah blah blah.. It's to point out that it's not easy. We're here at 4 months and we still don't look like the picture on a glossy brochure, but we are making it work, mostly through determination and stubborness (on all our parts). I wish I would have known that it would be this hard. I would still have worked just as hard to get it together, but I might have felt like less of a failure.

Now we just have the guilt of sending them to daycare twice a week to get over. I'm starting part-time work in November and I'm riddled with guilt over being the worst mother ever because they have to go to daycare twice a week for 6 or 7 hours. please someone slap me. I know how stupid I sound. But really, how could you leave these two?

Petey is jealous, so here's a shot of him too. On my new kitchen rug. which he has claimed for his own. even during bathtime. so helpful...

shots

well, the shots went well. the day of the doctor's appt, we drugged the girls up with baby tylenol an hour or so before and they took the shots like champs. Just like last time, they howled when the needles went in and went to sleep as soon as H and I picked them up. Then they slept the rest of the day.

so sounds good right? sure. that day was cake. The next two days were crab-tastic. Zoe may or may not have had a low grade fever on friday (the jury's still out on whether or not she was just sweaty) and both girls were figdety and cranky.

Today was H and my anniversary. 1 whole year. We went out to brunch at the place we had the wedding and marveled at the difference a year makes. Then we came home and hung out with the girlies for a while and managed to take a nap. All four of us. Managed to sleep at the same time. during the day. which never never ever ever happens. it rocked.

After getting the girls into bed H and I sat on the floor in the living room having wine and cheese and our slices of wedding cake, which were just as stale as last year. You see, our wedding cake never made it to the reception. There were many reasons given, but I'm pretty sure it just didn't get finished in time. Anyway, long story short, we wound up with "stunt cake". The cake we cut and fed each other was scapped up from a local bakery window a half hour or so before the reception. How long it was sitting in the window, no one knows. It pretty much tasted like cardboard.

After the wedding my brother was in charge of getting all the stuff back to our house since H and I went straight on our honeymoon. In his infinite wisdom, he took the entire three layers of stunt cake and put it straight into my deep freeze. Not in a box. Just cake on a shelf. Where it sat until about 2 weeks ago when H and I decided we needed the space in the deep freeze for food. So he cut two slices and put it in a container. We tried it again tonight. just for fun. it still sucked. but we had a fun time looking at the pictures from the wedding and laughing about how bad the cake was.

Next year we are thinking of going away overnight. wouldn't that be fabulous? perhaps we'll leave the munchkins with grandma. won't she be thrilled :)

Today is also the girls 4 month birthday. I meant to take a picture of them to post up, but the nap interceded and it was good. totally worth it. I'll take the pic tomorrow.

Now I have to go off and pump for the 2am feeding. then it's bed time for me. sorry for the extremely boring post, I lack creativity these days.

I really should be sleeping...

Due to overwhelming demands... here are some new pics:

here are the girls sporting their snazzy cloth diapers. You can see what chubbs they are now. We are headed to the doctor tomorrow for our 4 month shots (yikes) and I had them weighed by the county health nurse two weeks ago and they were both 10lbs 7oz! What fatties! Hard to remember them 6lbs smaller.... but here's a shot:

This is from when they first came home. Same positions too; Z on the left C on the right.

Amazing what three months can do. If I get a chance tomorrow I'll post up the stats from our doctors visit and let you all know the horrors of immunization.