Monday, March 26, 2007

Extra Saturday

I would like to formally request an extra Saturday. I feel that I am not granted enough time with my current allotment of one Saturday per week.

This weekend we were incredibly productive. We went to my co-workers house and picked up a whole slew of baby stuff, most notably a port-a-crib, a brand new full size crib mattress, another pack n play, a ton of linens and some toys and a rocking chair (that of course wouldn't fit in my car with all the other stuff.

Then we hit Babies R Us. You may or may not have been aware of this, but there is, in fact, a genuine portal to hell located right next to the breast feeding accessories. This is must be where all of Satan's minions are filling the store from. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I have never seen so many freakin' people shuffling aimlessly through crap they don't need. We had to wait over an hour to get a scanner to start the registry. In the meantime, we walked, no, shuffled, the same route as everyone else in yonkers through the labyrinth of plastic crap. Just as we were done compiling our list of things to put on said registry, they called our names to come back to get a gun. So we walked the whole damn store again, scanning crappola.

After that, we unloaded (ha, I unloaded nothing. I sat upstairs with Petey and we watched H unload) all the stuff out of the car and tried to rearrange the furniture so there would be a path through the room.

Sunday involved way too much laundry and reorganizing the basement in order to empty the upstairs closet. Never got to the closet.

This is why I need an extra day.

Also, apparently babies do not like walking around Babies R US / Hell's Gate as I was up every hour from 2 -6 am on Sunday. Apparently, someone decided to stab me with a hot poker in the ribs. I am assuming it is a hot poker as it is someone who is womb-bound and I can't actually see what they are torturing me with. Where would they get a hot poker? I can only assume was at aforementioned aperture to the underworld. H imagines it to be some sort of bizzarro baby inquisition, complete with Spanish accents.

Rib Stabbing is the new baby past time. It has already replaced Sibling Wrestling as a favorite among the 18-22 week demographic. Rock on!

In an effort to combat the anti-sleeping hex that has been sent my way, I finally broke down and bought one of those absurd body pillows. That's the only thing that allowed me to sleep from 6am to about 9 on Sunday and most of last night. I managed to wad the pillow up enough to force myself semi-upright in bed. This makes rib stabbing much more arduous (but not impossible as I am sitting at my desk in a very upright position and they are managing quite well). It also annoys the crap out of Petey as he is rapidly running out of room in the bed.

According to H, Petey spent a portion of the evening giving me and body pillow dirty looks and snorting in our direction. So, yeah, he's going to handle the babies really well. Can't wait for that.

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