So I will now think of positive things to say about the twinlets and the whole pregnancy bag. They will be bulleted because, yeah, it's 4pm and I'm less than creative, and besides, who doesn't like lists?
- Ice cream. I eat ice cream like it's going out of style. I haven't eaten this much ice cream since summer camp, but hey, it's got calcium in it if you eat enough. and it's mad cold. I can eat sick amounts of dairy food to start with, but now I am allowed/recommended to get 4-7 servings. That rocks. It means so far today I've had milk in cereal, greek yogurt and a pudding snack. and I'm not half done! that definitely indicates some ice cream for dessert. And I have some delish fancy schmancy confections, made by Chef 'Tavo I snagged from Brother Fi when he was moving and didn't want to pack/deal with stuff.
- Little wriggling heads and butts and arms and legs are pretty cool feeling. I make H try to feel them every time they move. I'm pretty sure he's humoring me, but it's like being the coolest science fair project. I would totally win both "best in show" and "student's choice award" (little known trivia, I won both these titles in the 6th grade science fair for my Underwater Mouse House and again in the 8th grade for my merciless torture of sea stars and their freakish regenerational properties. the more you know..... )
- New wardrobe. It's actually easier to get dressed in the morning when you have a limited number of options. This is making me think about doing a great closet purge when I am no longer behemoth sized. It won't happen, but at least I had the thought and really, isn't that what counts?
- Bargain hunting for baby things. So far I've scored a used double stroller, a stack of cloth diapers and this weekend we are headed to check out someone's attic of baby stuff. You know I loves me some recycling. Fits right in with my granola-crunchiness and my cheapness plus I can feel self-righteous about saving things from landfills. oh rapture!
- H is now the house-husband (again. ah, yes, remember the rasta-days when I worked three jobs and studied for the boards and H was in charge. Yeah, we burnt out the blender and went through two barbecues, but I didn't do a damn thing), chauffeur and chef. and laundress. and primary Petey care giver. Thank you toxoplasmosis for making me never have to change another litter box again. not that I ever did. cause it's gross and smelly and Petey watches you very very carefully. oh, and he tries to play with it after you scoop it into the toilet. Petey has issues..
- Getting out of going to work a few months earlier. According to my OB, I shouldn't be working so far from the hospital after 28 weeks. this means 7 weeks and 3 days left here hablando espanol and driving (oh, who am I kidding. I've driven maybe twice) 2 hours each way to get paid next to nothing. Not that they are going to pay me for my leave, but at least I won't be here.
- Blaming hormones for my normal inappropriate outbursts. Right, so I've always been well versed in absurd bullshit, but now, people don't even look twice at some of my ranting. Either that or they're getting used to me.
- Eating all the time. Plus people yell at you if you aren't eating enough. I've gained 34 lbs since we got back from Greece (no, we will not be counting the five pounds I gained drinking ouzo until I was blind and eating pastry whenever possible) and even the doctor said I wasn't too fat. Frabjous day!
- Talking to myself is far less strange as I've found a captive audience. The twinlets can't run away so I can just chat to my little hearts content. They seem ok with it. Like I care. They can't do anything about it for at least the next year. mwahahahahahahaha!
- Being lazy by requirement. No one expects me to do a damn thing. I don't even have to get up to get my patients from the waiting room; they are escorted back to me. and people are constantly telling me to relax and sit down. No one is lazier than me. ok, no one with two X chromosomes.
Then I'll have to share them with everyone else. Everyone will want to hold them and squeeze them and play games with them. and I hate sharing. So for now, I'm happy that I get to hog them to myself for a little while longer before they come out and they're babies and they're not just mine anymore.
WE'RE HAVING TWO BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, I'm growing two actual babies. How freakin' cool is that?